


For Reasons Unknown

by FallingLikeThis, Rearviewdreamer



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Discrimination, Fluff, Harry and Louis used to be dead, Humor, M/M, Mourning, Resurrection, Roommates, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Support Group, Undead, Zombie jokes, but they're not anymore, i guess, it's a thing, no one dies in the fic but it does mention people who died off-screen, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 05:24:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 37,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11201352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingLikeThis/pseuds/FallingLikeThis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rearviewdreamer/pseuds/Rearviewdreamer
Summary: Six years after dying, Louis is suddenly thrust back into the life he'd lost. Support Group is supposed to help him adjust to everything that's changed but he finds the experience sadly lacking. Well, except there is one curly-haired lad that's there too. He kind of makes it worth going.





	For Reasons Unknown

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to [Jacky](https://dimpled-halo.tumblr.com/) for the beta. And extra special, super duper, awesomely GINORMOUS thank you to [Addy](http://tvshows-addict.tumblr.com/) for setting us up with [belialsmiracles](belialsmiracles.tumblr.com) for the artwork.  
> SO MANY compliments to the artist. We are so grateful to you for doing this for us and we're in awe of your massive talent.
> 
> Very loosely based on the tv show The Returned and the 1D song "Walking In the Wind".

Louis walks into support group late, the door slamming shut behind him.

_ Great _ , he thinks as all eyes briefly turn to him.  _ Way to make a first impression. _

“Sorry,” Louis mutters softly, moving quickly to take an empty seat.

Someone, the moderator maybe –Louis doesn’t know what you call the person who runs it, clears their throat drawing everyone’s attention back to the group. “You were saying, Harry?”

“Right,” says a boy with long, flowing curls and an expression of anguish. He’s absolutely beautiful. “It’s just… my family has all gotten older and I haven’t aged a day. And I’m terrified that I won’t. I mean, is it possible to grow old when you’re already dead?”

“We don’t talk like that, Harry,” the moderator says delicately. It doesn’t feel like she’s scolding him, it seems like more of a reminder. A gentle nudge. They don’t talk about being dead because they  _ aren’t _ anymore. For some reason, they’ve all been brought back. Six years after their initial death. It may not be a reprimand but it pisses Louis off anyway. His jaw clenches tight with the barely controlled desire to say something.

“I know,” Harry says, looking at his hands, threaded together in his lap. “I’m sorry.”

“Wait, why are you apologizing?” Louis blurts before he can stop himself.

Harry’s gaze snaps up to Louis, appearing startled that he’s being addressed so abruptly.

“What’s your name?” The moderator asks, turning to Louis with a disapproving stare.

“Louis,” Louis answers haughtily, she doesn’t scare him.

“Well, Louis,” the moderator starts, obviously intending to answer the question Louis’ asked of  _ Harry _ . “We don’t talk about being ‘dead’ because we’re not. And acting as if we still are will only hold us back from moving forward. You’re new, so no harm done but I ask that you keep that in mind for future meetings.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “With all due respect, Miss Whatever-your-name-is, I understand what you’re saying but I still don’t think he needs to apologize for what he said. I mean, isn’t this a place to share your fears? That’s all he’s done. Censoring  _ how _ he says it will only lead to being afraid to say anything at all and how the fuck does that help?”

“My name is Caroline. And please watch your language, Louis,” the moderator says, not bothering to address Louis’ question.

Louis scoffs with an incredulous shake of his head. “This is bullshit.”

Harry’s eyes follow him as he stands up from his chair and walks out the way he came.

He definitely made an impression, and he doesn’t even care if it was good or bad anymore.

When he gets outside, he sits on the kerb and pulls his cigarettes from his pocket, pulling one from the package and lighting it. He takes a deep inhale and savors it before letting it go once more. He’s got an hour to wait for his mum to pick him up again.

“Hi,” Harry’s deep voice falls down on him as Harry steps up to Louis’ side and sits next to him.

“Hello,” Louis says, eyes trailing over Harry’s face before falling to his giant hands resting on his knees. The things he would let those hands do to him.

“Thanks. For what you said in there,” Harry tells him pointing with a thumb over his shoulder at the building behind them.

“Just speaking my mind, mate,” Louis returns with a shrug of his shoulders. “I’ve never been very good at holding me tongue.”

“You were right,” Harry says quietly. “It is bullshit. I never feel any better when I come to these things, only worse. Like I’m doing something wrong for questioning it.”

“Maybe we should start our own group,” Louis says, with a half-smile. “The Walking Dead Support Group.”

Harry laughs, eyes crinkling and teeth shining as he cackles at Louis’ bad joke. “I think we’d get a few too many zombie enthusiasts for that one. Might even get sued by the tv show if we aren’t careful.”

“Nah, they wouldn’t sue the formerly dead,” Louis insists, taking another drag of his cigarette. “That would be like us suing them for portraying us unfairly on television.”

“Maybe we should,” Harry suggests before his brow furrows thoughtfully. “I hope my skin doesn’t start decaying like that.”

“Shush, Harold,” Louis giggles. “Your skin’s not going to fall off.”

“How do  _ you _ know, Lewis?” Harry asks, but he’s laughing too.

Louis brings the cigarette up to his lips one more time, enjoying the burn in his throat, before putting it out on the kerb and blowing out the smoke as he shakes his head at Harry. “I’m a genius, Curly. That’s how I know.”

“A genius would know that smoking is bad for you,” Harry scolds playfully.

Louis shrugs carelessly. “What’s it gonna do? Kill me again?”

Harry gives Louis a sad smile. “Do you think that’s how you went the first time?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Louis says, keeping his eyes on his shoes. He wishes he could remember but no one who’s come back has been able to remember their death. Not yet anyway. Louis’ mum thinks it’s a blessing. Who would want to remember that anyway? “You come back in pretty much the same place you died, right? Well, I woke up in Hyde Park. Probably bit it doing something shady.”

“Like what?” Harry asks, looking at Louis curiously.

“I don’t know,” Louis answers. Nobody else seems to know what he was doing either. He has an idea, but Harry’s been so lovely and he seems to like Louis so far. Louis doesn’t want to give Harry any reason to think less of him.

“I was found in my bed,” Harry says quietly. “My mum thinks it was a home invasion kind of thing but… the last thing I remember was going to a club with my friend Niall. I think maybe I brought my killer home with me.”

“Shit, Harry. That’s horrible,” Louis says because he can’t think of anything else to say other than ‘I’m sorry’ and that never really helps anyone who’s dealing with grief.

“Yeah,” Harry agrees. “I’m glad I don’t remember.”

Louis nods along. He’s glad Harry doesn’t remember either. The lad seems perfectly lovely and Louis hates that something like that happened to him in the first place. It can only be a blessing that he doesn’t remember a possible lover turning on him. “Wait.” Louis stops nodding abruptly. “You woke up in your own bed, six years later? Was it still your bed or did you scare the pants off of some poor, unsuspecting sod?”

Harry grins, amused when Louis’ question breaks on a laugh. It’s a funny thought, someone waking up with Harry next to them when he wasn’t there when they fell asleep. Probably a lot less funny if it had actually happened. But then his smile turns sad. “Oh. No, it was still mine. I mean, my mum kept up payment on my half of the rent and my flatmate, who luckily wasn’t home when I came back, promised to leave my room alone. Mum was keeping it as, like, a shrine sort of. I hate that she couldn’t seem to let me go but I guess it ended up being a good thing.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Louis hums with a shrug of his shoulders. He’s a bit envious, if he’s honest. “I moved back in with my mum. Didn’t really have anywhere left to go.”

“Oh,” Harry winces. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright. I have two new siblings I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t come back. Gives me a chance to bond, I suppose,” Louis says, looking out at the street, watching for his mum’s car even though it’s way too early. He’s sort of dreading the moment he sees it because as much as he plays it off, things aren’t all that great at his mum’s. The little sisters he grew up with, now six years older, are still freaked out by his sudden reappearance, giving him a wide berth when he’s nearby, and his new siblings cry anytime he even tries to get close to them. He wonders if they’re picking up on everyone else’s wariness. His mum is the only one that clings to him as though his return is a good thing.

“You don’t sound too convinced of that,” Harry says and when Louis turns to look at him, he sees Harry studying him like he’s genuinely worried.

Louis laughs bitterly. “Not like I have much choice anyway.”

“Well,” Harry starts, running his fingers through his hair. Louis’ eyes track the movement with interest. “My roommate sort of freaked when I came back, fucked off and left me with an empty room. It’s yours if you want it.”

Louis looks at Harry a bit like he’s gone crazy. “Are you serious, Curly? You don’t even know me.”

“Yeah. I mean, it might be nice to have someone to talk to on a regular basis that actually knows what I’m going through, support group aside,” Harry answers seriously.

Louis snorts. “ _ Support _ ,” he mutters under his breath because that’s not at all what he’d call what was going on back inside the building.

Harry just keeps looking at Louis expectantly and Louis has no idea what he’s supposed to say. He doesn’t even know if his mum would let him leave her house, she might just cling to him even more tightly if he tried. As always, the worst possible thing comes out of his mouth at the worst possible time.

“No offence, Harry, but I think I’m beginning to see how you were killed in your own room. You’re far too trusting.” He regrets the words as soon as they’re out of his mouth and he feels guilt flood through his veins when Harry basically shuts down right next to him.

“Yeah,” he says, nodding along though he won’t look at Louis now. “You’re probably right,” he adds, standing up. “I’ll have to work on that.”

“Harry-” Louis calls as Harry steps away from him. He feels legitimately terrible.

“Good luck at your mum’s,” Harry offers, walking back into the building without a backwards glance.

Louis sighs, pulling out another cigarette and preparing to wait out the rest of his hour on the kerb. Alone.

*

Louis rests his head against the cool glass of the car window as he’s driven back home, thankfully far, far away from Caroline and her arse-backwards philosophies on help and support.

“So, how did your first meeting go, Louis? Did you like it?”

Louis cringes. His mother’s hopeful voice kind of makes him feel like shit, because all she wants for him is to be okay again, to not feel the effects of being wiped off of the face of the Earth six years ago, only to be thrust back feeling like half of him was left behind in wherever the hell he was. He feels like that sometimes. Like he’s only partially here. That’s why he smiles big and wide when his mother glances over at him; to make up for the pieces of him that he’s positive are still missing.

“It was good,” he lies, quickly turning back towards the window so she doesn’t pick up on his dishonesty. His mum seems to buy his story though, releasing a happy sigh as if she had expected the worst.

“That’s great to hear, love. So, do you think today helped at all, being able to talk with other people who have, um-”  _ Died _ . “Other people going through the same kinds of things as you?” she amends.

Louis stares out the window again, impressed with his mother’s quick save.

“Yeah, mum. Everyone was nice. I met some good people.”

He only met one good person really; Harry, and somehow Louis managed to fuck that up too.

“That’s good. And, you are going back again, aren’t you?” she asks carefully.

Her question goes unanswered as Louis continues to watch the other houses and cars go by.

They pull up outside of their house and Louis suddenly feels exhausted just looking at it. The feeling seems to worsen when his mother’s hand suddenly reaches out to grab hold of his forearm to stop him from getting out of the car.

“Louis, I know it’s been difficult for you since you’ve been back,” she begins with so much concern and worry emanating from her kind eyes. Louis shakes his head to deny it but her comforting grip tightens around his arm, cutting off whatever argument he was about to make. “I know that this is hard for you and that being back is a lot to adjust to. You never talk about it, but I just want you to know that we are all so happy to have you in our lives again.”

She lets a couple of tears slide down her cheeks before leaning over to hug him. Louis leans into the warmth of her touch. Moments like this with his mother have become a staple in Louis’ life since the day of his fated return. They sometimes come out of nowhere. Kind of like right now.

“I love you. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, Mum,” he says, half of his attention on his mother, and the rest of it on the living room window where he can see the blinds moving from his sisters spying on them from the safety of the house.

His mum smiles and laughs at herself when she finally pulls back, wiping the happy tears from her face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry again, I just- I’m really happy that your support group went well today. I know that it’s going to be a good thing for you.”

Louis smiles back, his lips in a tight line because his mother has quite the knack for making him feel like an awful person when her intention is always the exact opposite.

*

Louis spends most of the day up in his room with his window thrown open as he smokes out of it to hide the smell.

He had ventured down to the living room earlier to watch tv with his siblings, but that hardly ever ends well because being alone with them is always such a tense situation. Louis can feel all of their curious eyes on him as if they’re silently demanding to know how he did it; how he managed to come back like it was some sort of elaborate magic trick. Louis left fifteen minutes into the show they were watching, resigned to stay up in his room where no one could gawk at him.

Dinner is much better because his mother is there as a buffer to keep everything moving smoothly. His family talks around him as they eat, Louis’ ears picking up on bits and pieces of their conversations, but the majority of his attention is focused on the boy from earlier that he hurt, Harry.

He is the only decent person that Louis has met and has actually been able to talk to. The only person who seems to get it even in the short amount of time that they spoke. He was sweet and funny and Louis repaid him for his kindness by judging him and saying he got murdered in his own bed.

Louis frowns down at the food he’s been picking at, wondering if he was always this bad at interacting with people and he just didn’t realize it, or if this is some new adverse effect of being taken away from humanity and then thrown back into it. Either way, he shouldn’t have said those things to Harry. The boy was only trying to be nice when he offered Louis a place to stay.

Louis looks up from his plate at his family when they all laugh at something his mother said and he wonders if it’s normal to feel like an intruder in his own home; an impostor, sitting in for the Louis that used to belong here. He knows the answer to that already, which is why he maybe shouldn’t have been so quick to dismiss Harry’s offer today. Louis doubts that he’d feel like a trespasser if he lived with someone who’s been brought back and knows what it’s like. It could be nice to live someplace where no one is freaked out by him. It might even feel like a home if Louis gave it a real shot.

The thought consumes him for the rest of the night, even bleeding into the next day when his mother asks him to feed the twins and all they do is cry. Louis loves his family. He’s happy to have a second shot at being a part of it as well, but that’s not something that should be forced and he feels like that’s what they’re all doing; trying to force Louis to fit back into a puzzle whose pieces managed to grow over his slot like weeds over a crack in the pavement. Maybe they all just need more time.

After the shit-show of his first support group attempt, Louis had vowed to never step foot in that place again, but he warms up to the idea after a couple of days since his only formerly-dead acquaintance is most likely to be there.

His mother’s eyes are full of so much pride when Louis asks her to drop him off at his next meeting. She drives with a grin pulling at her lips, obviously elated that he seems to be getting on so much better. She hugs him and wishes him good luck before he hops out of the car and Louis thanks her, knowing that he’ll most definitely need it since his brain to mouth filter seems to be nonexistent when talking to new people. More specifically, when talking to Harry.

*

He’s on time today but all eyes still turn to Louis when he walks in. The only ones he cares about are the kind, green ones that slip away again to stare at the floor when they meet Louis’. Louis’ guilt returns full force as he walks over to the circle of chairs and takes a seat opposite the other boy even though there’s an empty one right next to him. It’s the way Harry relaxes, tension flowing out of his shoulders when Louis doesn’t sit next to him, like he’s relieved, that says everything. Louis looks away, feeling the sting of Harry’s silent rejection acutely.

It’s only a minute or so later when all the seats are filled that Caroline is calling the meeting to order. Louis only looks up from the floor when she calls on him to speak.

“Louis,” she prods and he’s surprised to hear how gentle her voice is after how he spoke to her last week. “Would you like to tell us your story?”

Louis shrugs, not really knowing what to say. How do you talk about something you don’t remember?

“I don’t know much,” he starts, because he does kind of think it would make him feel a bit better to get it out. But he’s not speaking for Caroline, he’s doing it for himself. And maybe a bit for Harry, maybe if he hears Louis’ story, he’ll forgive him for being an idiot on occasion. “Woke up on May 27 th  2016, just like everyone else. I was in Hyde Park and I think I remember hearing someone calling me a bum, telling me to get a job before I  _ really _ realized where I was. They must have thought I was homeless but it didn’t really register at the time. I couldn’t remember how I got there and I had this little surge of panic in the back of me head but I figured, if I could just get home, everything would be alright.” He runs his fingers through his hair, brushing his fringe out of his eyes, trying not to let himself go too deep into the memory. “But when I got there, my key wouldn’t work. It had to be five minutes, maybe more, of me fumbling with the door, just trying to get it to open before someone called out from the other side, threatening to call the cops if I didn’t leave.”

Whoever is next to him puts a hand on Louis’ knee, an obvious effort to comfort him because even he can hear the panic leaking back into his voice as he fails at not falling completely back into the memory of that godawful day. He barely notices them, doesn’t look over or thank them. He can’t. He can’t see anything but a locked door from his past and the tremendous need to get through it. 

“I didn’t- I  _ couldn’t _ understand. How did this person get into my flat? Why were they in there and I wasn’t? I didn’t know what to do. Should  _ I  _ call the cops? I didn’t though, I rang my mum instead. She would know what to do, I just knew it. She always knew how to fix things,” Louis can feel warm rivulets on his cheeks, tears spilling from his eyes just like they had that morning as he stood in the hallway of his old building, confused as hell and feeling the stirrings of real fear. “But when she answered and I started talking, she didn’t say anything. And then… she hung up on me. I thought for sure it was a mistake, that she hadn’t meant to hang up, so I called back. And that’s when a voice answered that I didn’t recognize. It was a man. He asked who I was and when I told him, he started cursing at me, telling me that I was a heartless brute for playing pranks, pretending to be someone’s dead child.”

Louis opens his mouth to continue but finds that he can’t do it. He closes his eyes, trying to force the images, the sounds, the horrible feelings of that day far, far away from him.

“It’s alright, Louis,” Caroline promises. He doesn’t believe her, knows she’s feeding them all another crock of shit. “We’ve all been through something similar.”

Louis blinks his eyes open, looking around the circle at all the people who’ve been through ‘something similar’ and he knows that it’s not quite true. There are several people giving him looks of pity but pity isn’t what you offer someone when you know what they’ve been through. The ones that shoot him looks of understanding, even the ones that can’t make themselves look at him at all, those are the ones who’ve been through what Louis’ been through. The confusion and panic and fear of being brought back to a world where everything has moved on without you. The others may have been brought back, but Louis would bet every penny he’s ever made that they had it easier than the rest of them. Someone was there for them when they woke up or they were accepted back into their family like they’d never gone in the first place.  _ Something _ .

Harry stares back at Louis from across the circle. He doesn’t look away this time when Louis meets his eyes, cheeks wet with tears for Louis’ pain. He gives Louis a sad smile. It’s probably an ‘I understand’ maybe even an ‘I forgive you  _ because _ I understand’. Whatever it is, it eases the tightness in Louis’ throat and lifts the oppressive feeling of misery in his chest.

Louis nods back, not quite able to bring himself to smile back yet. It’s an ‘I’m sorry’ and a ‘thank you’ and a ‘please don’t walk away again’ all rolled into one. He hopes Harry sees that.

Louis really hadn’t meant to open up like that, hadn’t expected to get so lost when he’d started his story. He thought he’d be fine, brave through it like he always does with everything else. He didn’t mean to share his pain quite so forcefully.  He buries his face in his hands until he can get control of himself as the group moves on to someone else. He doesn’t speak for the rest of the meeting, just waiting for it to be over. He hopes he’ll get to talk to Harry after because he’s not sure he can do this again.

*

Despite his own doubts, Louis manages to make it through the entire meeting without running out on everyone for a second time. He endures the painful stories and confessions from the people around him, even making it past Caroline’s long-winded speech near the end of the session about acceptance and strength and reconciling their past with their present without making any snarky comments or remarks, which is a real feat coming from him.

Louis tries not to focus on it or overanalyze the situation, however he can’t help but feel Harry’s gaze each time it lands on him. Louis glances up to meet his kind eyes, and each time Harry’s lips curve up into a tiny grin. It’s the kind of grin that Louis thought for sure he’d never get to see again after the way he treated Harry the last time they spoke.

They get dismissed and Louis heads straight for the door, needing an escape after listening to Caroline harp on about choosing to live in the now, but before he can make it all the way outside, Louis feels a gentle hand land on his shoulder.

Several people from their group meander around the two of them where they’re blocking the flow of traffic. Harry utters quiet apologies to everyone who passes by for being in their way, sheepishly stepping to the side to make room for the people exiting the building. Louis automatically moves along with him almost like being pulled by his gravity.

“I guess I didn’t really think that through,” Harry says with a small laugh to himself. A few ringlets of his chocolate curls fall over his eyes when he smiles down at the floor. When he looks back up, Louis sees the rich color of them teeming with acceptance and forgiveness rather than the painful rejection from earlier. “I um- I didn’t know if you’d come back here,” he says, looking quite pleased that Louis chose to give their support group another try after all.

Louis didn’t think he’d come back either to be honest. He had fully intended to fuck off and never be heard from again, but something about this place made his plan impossible to follow through with, or rather  _ someone  _ did. Louis doesn’t know how exactly to say that to Harry without it sounding weird. He has a way of putting his foot in his mouth a lot of times, so he chooses to dance around the topic a bit longer.

“Uh, so, my mum’s coming to pick me up soon,” Louis says out of nowhere causing the light in Harry’s eyes to die out like a bright flame being doused with water.

“Oh, well. Okay,” Harry mutters.

Louis shakes his head, wincing at his own awkwardness. God, he really does need to work on his people skills. “No, no, not like that! That’s not what I meant,” Louis hurries to say before Harry can leave again.

Harry frowns at him like he’s speaking a foreign language. “So, your mum’s  _ not _ coming to get you?” he asks, looking incredibly confused and unimpressed with Louis at the moment.

Louis takes a deep, cleansing breath and starts over. “What I meant to say is that my mum should be on the way to pick me up soon. I’m gonna wait for her outside, and I wanted to know if you’d like to wait with me. Outside. Until my mum comes. Like, to keep me company or whatever,” Louis clarifies just in case he’s still not making any sense.

“Oh,” Harry says, sounding much less put out this time. “Well, if that’s the case, then I’d be happy to join you.” He tacks on a grin that lets Louis know that he really means it.

Louis leads the way out to the kerb and takes a seat in the same spot from last time. Harry sits down next to him, close enough that Louis could inch his small hand over a couple of centimeters and touch Harry’s larger one if he wanted. Louis would never do something like that of course, especially without Harry’s permission; he’s just acknowledging that technically he could.

They sit in comfortable silence for a while. At least, it feels comfortable from Louis’ end. Harry isn’t gawking at him or making him feel like he  _ has _ to talk, so he assumes everything is fine. Even when Harry eventually clears his throat to speak, Louis doesn’t feel as though he’s doing it to force Louis to talk to him.

“It was really brave of you to share your story in there.”

Louis blinks down at the pavement. He sure doesn’t feel brave after talking about it. He definitely didn’t feel brave when it was happening to him either.

Louis shrugs, keeping his gaze down. “Isn’t that what you’re ‘ _ supposed’ _ to do in a support group?” he asks in a sarcastic tone that’s really meant for Caroline even though she’s not there to hear it.

“I think you’re supposed to do whatever makes you feel okay and if that means telling your story to a room full of strangers, then I think that makes anybody brave.” When Louis looks up at Harry, his eyes are filled with so much warmth and sincerity that Louis feels awful for the first conversation they had on this kerb all over again.

“I asked you to come out here to wait with me, but I really just wanted the chance to talk to you and apologize for what I said a few days ago,” Louis admits after a few beats of silence.

“It’s okay,” Harry shrugs. “I can be a bit sensitive sometimes. I was like that before I died and I guess not much has changed now that I’m back. I know you didn’t mean it.” Louis has always been a lot to take in. He’s got a lot of mouth and a lot of opinions and he has never been particularly quiet about it, however, he can tell that Harry isn’t like that. He’s soft where Louis is jagged and rough around the edges and his eyes alone tell the story of a man who sees kindness in the world, even after everything he’s been through. Louis had said that he was too trusting like it was some sort of hindrance, but Louis is often too closed off to ever let anyone in, so really, he’s not in a position to make judgments.

“How are things at home?” Harry asks, proving Louis’ point exactly by smiling at him with genuine interest.

“About as strange as you’d expect from a household living with someone who no longer has a place there. What about you? How’s your flat?” Louis asks. He watches as Harry’s smile shrinks down to a grin that’s hardly even visible anymore.

“It’s fine. Kind of lonely being there by myself all the time, but I’m getting used to it I guess. I’m sorry your mum’s isn’t all that great,” he says and Louis can feel how sorry he truly is that things are hard for him right now.

Louis digs into his pocket and pulls out his pack of cigarettes along with his lighter. Harry watches as he lights it, and Louis notices the way his nose crinkles from the smell. Louis smirks because he finds it adorable, making sure to blow the smoke away from him since he’s not too fond of it. “Home is weird, but it is what it is,” Louis sighs in answer.

“Well,” Harry begins carefully, “It doesn’t have to be.” Louis drops the hand holding his cigarette by his side and faces Harry so that they’re looking right at one another. “I know that we already had this conversation once, but just hear me out,” Harry says, holding up his hands to silently ask for Louis’ patience. Louis shocks him by nodding his agreement, his eyes going wide with surprise.

“Okay, Curly. Go on.”

A look of victory flashes over Harry’s face as his lips turn up into a small grin. “Alright, well, you know how everyone’s always saying how all of us coming back was a miracle? Like, it was fate or destiny or meant to be or whatever?” Louis nods because his mother definitely thinks his return was a miracle. “I know that you think that I’m naïve, but I just think it’s kind of funny how I live in this big, empty flat all by myself now and you’re having a hard time living at home with your family. If being brought back here was our destiny or the way it was supposed to happen, then who’s to say that us becoming friends and helping each other out couldn’t be as well?”

Louis stares at him for so long that his cigarette is mostly a loose cylinder of ashes by the time he’s thought of something to say, however, Harry cuts him off before he can get it out.

“Never mind. You think I’m crazy,” Harry laughs humorlessly, shaking his head as he looks out over the car park.

Louis thinks Harry is a lot of things; caring, kind, thoughtful, and even beautiful, but definitely not crazy. Louis is just about to tell him so when his mother’s car pulls up, her smile widening when she notices that Louis is sitting with another human being and having an actual conversation.

“ _ Shit _ . Hey, that’s my mum so I’ve got to go, but Harry… I don’t think what you said sounds crazy.”

“You don’t?” Harry grins.

“No, I don’t,” Louis answers truthfully. “I don’t think it’s a horrible idea either but, I mean, are you really serious about it?”

Harry nods quickly as though he’s never been more sure of anything. “Yes, Louis. I’m sure. I’m dead serious.” Louis splutters out a laugh which seems to confuse Harry for a moment. A crease forms between his eyebrows as he watches Louis laughing his head off and then eventually a slow smile spreads across his face. “Oh,” he says sheepishly, realizing his unintentional pun. “You know what I meant.”

“Yeah, I did,” Louis smiles. He glances back at his mother who is so obviously watching their interactions even though she’s putting a lot of effort into pretending to fiddle with the radio. “Look, I better get going, but I’ll talk to you later. Next support group?”

“Yeah, of course.” Harry nods, standing up to see him off. “But- Hey, Louis,” he calls when Louis is about get in the car. “Just think about what I said, yeah?”

Louis shoots his new friend a wide grin. “I’ll think about it,” Louis promises just before closing the car door behind him.

*

“So, how was group?”

Louis can hear the curiosity in his mother’s tone, knows that’s not the question she really wants to ask.

“It was fine,” he lies, turning his eyes to the window to watch Harry’s back as he walks to… wherever he’s going. Even if he were to open up in every meeting, he still doesn’t think he’d stop hating it. Harry is pretty much the only thing that makes it worth enduring. Which is strange, because Louis’ never been one to get attached to people quickly. It took forever before he let Zayn in but then, Zayn was just like him back then. These days he’s got new friends and a fiancé and Louis doesn’t really feel like he fits anymore. Maybe there’s something to what Harry said. Maybe it is fate, them being in a position to give the other exactly what they need. 

Louis doesn’t know if it’s disappointment that he didn’t give a more enthusiastic answer or just because she knows he’s lost in thought, but his mother lets the car fall silent on the way home. He can practically  _ feel _ the glances she keeps throwing his way, wanting to ask about the boy on the kerb but she doesn’t. It’s her intrinsic understanding of what Louis needs in this moment that makes him want to give her a small nugget of the answer she’s looking for. A reward of sorts for still being able to read him so well.

“His name’s Harry,” he says, glancing over just in time to see her lips quirk up in response. “He’s a  _ friend. _ ”

His declaration of friendship, and only friendship, with the other boy doesn’t deter his mother’s knowing grin. Honestly, he should know better. Wasn’t he just thinking about how well she knows him?

“He’s quite handsome, isn’t he?” Her voice trembles, just on the verge of a girlish giggle.

Louis shakes his head fighting off a grin. “He’s alright.”

“ _ Louis _ ,” his mother admonishes, disappointment on her lips but mirth still shining in her eyes. She always has been able to spot his type from a mile away.

“Alright, fine. He’s gorgeous. Are you happy, now?” Louis asks. It’s supposed to be petulant, he doesn’t want to be smiling when his mother has just pulled information out of him like he’s six and hasn’t learned how to tell a proper lie yet, but it doesn’t come out that way. It comes out fond and he  _ is _ smiling so he turns back to the window to not give himself away completely.

“I am,” his mum answers, grin clear as day in her voice. “Right now, I am very happy. Are you?”

That last question loses a lot of the playfulness of the words that came before it and Louis swallows, not knowing quite how to answer.

“I’m good,” he says, turning to face her so that she knows it’s not just lip service, giving her the chance to see the sincerity in his eyes. “I mean, I’m not always. But right now… yeah, I’m good.”

The smiles she gives him has an edge of sadness to it, telling him that he’s not as good at hiding his feelings from her as he imagines, but she accepts his answer and the atmosphere in the car, which is usually just on the cusp of suffocating, feels so much lighter for the first time since Louis came back. It’s nice and it lasts the whole way home.

Louis feels optimistic when he gets out of the car to go in the house. But then his sisters are there, staring at him blankly like he’s some stranger who’s barged into their home and he’s forced to leave his optimism at the door.

He does keep his promise to Harry. He spends all night thinking about what it might be like to live in a place where he doesn’t feel unwelcome ninety percent of the time, wonders if his nights would be filled with late night talks with Harry or if it would just be more of the same. He imagines watching movies on the sofa in the living room and not being too uncomfortable to laugh at the jokes on screen. Being able to have dinner and not wonder if the conversation is stilted because he’s there or it’s just that everyone’s had a lousy day.

At the end of the day, his musings of what his life could be like at Harry’s flat, no matter how big or small the place may be, no matter if Harry completely ignores him once he’s there, all of it seems better than being stuck in his mum’s house with people that don’t know how to handle him being there.

He lays in his bed, twisting his hair through his fingers as he stares up at the ceiling long after everyone else has gone to bed and he wishes that he’d thought to ask for Harry’s number. Because the truth of the matter is that he’s going to accept Harry’s offer. He just wishes he didn’t have to wait until their next group therapy session to tell him.

As he falls into a fitful sleep, the last lucid thought he has is to wonder if Harry would mind being the one to break it to his mum.

*

Louis wakes up late on the day of their next support group meeting. He had originally planned to get there early so he and Harry could have plenty of time to talk, but seeing as how their meeting started twenty minutes ago and Louis is still hopping around in his room trying to pull on his jeans, he’s just going to have to settle for catching Harry after the meeting.

He keeps checking the time as his mother drives, hoping that the session doesn’t end early today and that Harry is actually there like he assumes. He could’ve decided to not show up for some reason. Louis really hopes that isn’t the case, because then he’d have to wait even longer to tell Harry about his decision.

“You seem very alert and eager today,” his mother comments. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Louis answers much too quickly, causing his mother to shoot him looks of interest and suspicion.  _ Damn it _ . “I mean, I’m fine. There’s nothing going on. I just don’t want to be too late for support group, that’s all,” Louis tries in a calmer tone. He glances at his mother to see if she’s buying anything he just said, but all he can see is a small grin tugging at the corners of her lips.

She turns down the street to their destination without saying another word, her eyes light and happy when she puts the car in park and watches Louis scramble to get out of his seat belt.

“Just text me whenever you’re ready to come back, love,” she smiles.

“Okay, mum. I will.”

“And have a nice time at support group today... _ with Harry _ ,” she mumbles just before Louis closes the passenger door. She waves him goodbye like she said nothing at all and then pulls out of the car park, all before Louis can deny that his strange behavior has everything to do with the boy.

Louis checks the time again and breathes a sigh of relief noting that the meeting going on inside of the building still has about ten minutes left. He made it; barely, but he’s here so that’s all that matters. It’s much too late to try and go in, though. Caroline would probably lose it if he tried to walk in and join the discussion with so little time left, so Louis pulls out a cigarette and takes a seat in his and Harry’s regular spot on the kerb to wait.

Time moves pretty quickly even though he’s outside by himself. Louis is just flicking his cigarette butt into the middle of the car park when he hears the doors of the building swing open and the soft murmur of its occupants filing out of them. Louis stands up and spots Harry among them near the back of the crowd. Louis tries to meet his eyes to get his attention, but Harry’s messing with his phone and doesn’t see him. It’s not until Harry gets a bit closer and looks up that he notices Louis standing on the kerb. Harry’s face brightens as soon as they lock eyes as if Louis is a dear old friend he’s been missing. It’s kind of nice to be smiled at that way, he thinks.

“Louis! I didn’t know you were here,” Harry says, looking absolutely pleased to see that he is.

“Yeah, I accidentally slept in. I just got here.”

“Really?” he asks, a small crease forming between his eyebrows. “It’s a little late for support group now though, isn’t it?”

“Er- yeah, it is,” Louis says as he tries to get up the nerve to say what he needs to. “I, uh, I didn’t come for group today,” Louis admits. “I actually came to talk to you.”

“Oh. You did?” Harry asks, his grin turning more shy. Louis quite likes the little tingly feeling he gets in the pit of his stomach when the apples of Harry’s cheeks turn pink. “What about?”

“I thought about what you said last time. About us and living together and all of that stuff we talked about.”

There’s a hopeful lilt to Harry voice and expression as he waits to hear Louis’ verdict. “And? What did you decide?”

“That I want to,” Louis tells him. “I want to try living together if the offer’s still on the table, that is,” he clarifies, not wanting to overstep in case Harry‘s changed his mind between now and the last time they talked about this. No one says anything for a couple of nerve-wracking beats, but then Harry’s smiling at him, enough that two small dimples form on either side of his cheeks.

“Of course the offer’s still good, Louis. I’d be happy to have you.”

Louis hangs his head and lets out a relieved sigh. He had hoped Harry would agree to this. It was Harry’s idea from the start after all, but there was always that nagging voice in the back of Louis’ head telling him that Harry was just being nice when he offered up his flat to him; the same voice that often tells Louis that he doesn’t fit in with his family anymore. He  _ hates _ that voice.

“I’m so happy you changed your mind,” Harry says. “I was prepared to pester you about moving in with me for the next century,” he teases.

“Glad it didn’t come to that, then,” Louis grins back. Seeing as how he and Harry have both refused to stay dead once, Louis doesn’t think Harry’s little joke is so absurd.

Louis’ big goals for the day were to get to support group, find Harry, and let him know about his decision. He’s done all of those things in under fifteen minutes he realizes once he’s checked the time on his phone. His mother told him to text her whenever he’s ready to come back, but she just finished dropping him off. Maybe he could walk back instead and save her the trouble of leaving his siblings again.

“Is your mum on her way?” Harry asks when he notices Louis shoving his phone back into his pocket.

“No, not yet. I’m supposed to text her, but I think I’m going to walk back today.”

Harry nods like he thinks that’s a solid plan. “It’s very nice out today,” he says, looking up at the cloudless sky. Louis hadn’t even realized how bright the sun was shining down on them. He was so focused on seeing Harry that not much else made it onto his radar.

“Yeah, it’s pretty today,” Louis agrees, only now taking notice of the weather too.

“Would you mind if I walk with you?” Harry grins.

Louis blinks at Harry’s question and feels his heart skip several beats. “Like, to my house?” he asks just to be sure he understood that correctly. He hasn’t had anybody over to his house in ages. Nobody except for Zayn who has only been over a few times since Louis came back because he’s so busy with his own life. Louis hasn’t brought someone new home to meet his family since before he died.

“Well, yeah. If you think it’ll be okay,” Harry chuckles nervously. “I’d like to meet your mum. She seems lovely.” Louis finds that funny because his mother hasn’t pushed him on giving her more information about Harry, but he knows that she’s just dying to. And wasn’t it just a couple of days ago that Louis wished for someone else to break the news of him moving out to his mother? Maybe this is another one of those fate situations, where things just so happen to work out the right way.

“My mum would love to meet you,” he admits, and Harry seems pleased to hear it. “Um, I also wouldn’t mind the company if you still want to walk with me,” Louis tacks on wondering if he should be feeling this nervous at the prospect of simply walking down the street with someone. He wonders if he’s always been such a nutcase. Harry’s just walking him home after all. There’s nothing to be anxious about.

“I’d love to,” Harry grins easily. “I love walking,” he says, taking a step closer so that they’re side by side when they step down from the kerb.

*

So, now they’re  _ walking _ . Together. Louis casts a glance at Harry and sees him staring ahead, lips curved up in contentment, like he’s fine if they just keep silent company the entire time. Only Louis doesn’t  _ do  _ silence unless he’s got something on his mind. Right now, he can’t really think about anything but Harry and how he’s  _ right there _ walking him home. He clears his throat, unduly nervous when Harry turns his gaze towards him.

“So, uh, how was group today?” He asks because his mind has gone blank and he can’t think of anything else.

Harry shrugs with a snort. “Same shit, different day.”

“Ah,” Louis nods because that’s pretty much what he’d expected.

“I’m sure it’s helping some of the people in there and I know we all need to talk about what happened to us so that we don’t, like, bottle it all up or something but it’s not helping me anymore. It just feels terrible each time I have to go back there and I don’t want to feel bad anymore, you know?” Harry turns to him, like he’s waiting to see if Louis understands how he feels.

He absolutely does. He’s only actually sat through group the one time but once was definitely enough.

“Yeah, I understand,” Louis agrees. “But if you feel that way, why do you keep going?”

Harry looks to the ground, directing a sad little smile at the pavement. “To make my mum happy.”

“Ah, okay,” Louis nods very seriously, “so you’re a pushover. Good to know.”

“Heeeey,” Harry pushes him, playfully offended. “M’not a pushover.”

“Fine, fine,” Louis concedes with a laugh, raising his hands in surrender. “A mummy’s boy then.”

Harry shakes his head but doesn’t deny it, and he’s still grinning so Louis knows he hasn’t actually offended him. Still, they’ve already been on such shaky ground, he needs to make sure Harry knows he’s only playing. He bumps his shoulder against Harry’s as they walk.

“I don’t really have room to talk,” He tells the other boy. “I’m the same. Which is why it’s going to be so hard to tell her I’m moving out.”

“You haven’t told her yet?” Harry asks, eyes full of concern when Louis meets them.

“I don’t really know how,” Louis confesses. “She’s just been really anxious since I came back. I don’t think anyone else will care much that I’m leaving because I’m pretty sure me mum is the only one who wants me there.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Harry breaks in before Louis can say more. Of course, he  _ would _ think that. Harry’s lovely. Not a bad bone in his body, Louis can already tell.

“I dunno,” Louis shrugs. He does know, he can feel it every time his sisters look at him but he doesn’t want to contradict this boy that’s being so sweet to him. “My sisters were just wee little things when I died and now, they’re old enough to know what it means and where I was all that time. Being back… I think I scare them.”

“That’s understandable though, right?” Harry’s fingers brush against his arm and Louis thinks maybe it’s on purpose. A small act of comfort.  “I mean, _ I  _ scare me because I don’t know why I’m back or how or where I went. But just because they’re scared, doesn’t mean they don’t want you there.”

“Maybe,” Louis hums thoughtfully. He hadn’t exactly thought of it that way.

The next few minutes pass in silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts until Louis looks up and sees his house in the distance.

“I’m just up there,” he says, pointing out his house. “God, I’m getting nervous now,” he adds, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans.

“Don’t worry,” Harry says, hand brushing against Louis’ arm again. It’s definitely on purpose. “We’ll figure out something to tell her.”

*

Harry’s promise of figuring something out didn’t exactly comfort Louis. But that was before Harry waltzed into his mum’s house and charmed the hell out of her. When Louis introduced Harry to her, she was already looking at the boy like he was some kind of miracle and Louis knows she was thinking about how he doesn’t typically bring people home, friend or otherwise. But then, Harry brought out this thousand-watt smile and his dimples made an appearance and Louis got a little worried because his mum is a married woman. His worries faded a bit when she turned to him and gave him wink and a nod, like she was approving a new boyfriend or something and Louis was just kind of embarrassed after that, hoping he’s not been as transparent to Harry as he is to his mother. After all, he’s going to be living with the boy, he doesn’t need to be fueling whatever crush he may have unwittingly developed.

Harry is invited to sit down for a cuppa and together they begin the slow process of telling Louis’ mother that he’s moving out.

Harry is an absolute angel, taking all the responsibility for Louis wanting to move out. It’s  _ him  _ that needs a friend to talk to and  _ he’s  _ the one who’s not doing well living on his own, making it sound like Louis is doing him a favor and not the other way around. It’s not like what Harry is saying isn’t actually true but he doesn’t say a word about Louis’ issues, leaving Louis’ mother to think her son is just trying to be a good friend.

She accepts the news as well as could be expected, crying a bit like mums do, but she doesn’t try to stop Louis. He’s a grown man, he can make his own decisions, she says. That doesn’t make Louis feel any better about making her cry but it does make him feel like he can breathe a little easier.

When Harry leaves, he writes down his number for Louis and hugs Louis’ mum, thanking her for being so understanding and allowing him to borrow her son for a bit. Louis tries not to notice how she clings to the other boy like she needs the comfort. And later, when he goes to bed, he pretends he can’t hear her sobbing through the walls.

*

Louis didn’t anticipate things moving as quickly as they did. One afternoon Harry was at his house sitting with him and his mother at the kitchen table, and then the next Louis is carrying the last of his moving boxes to his mother’s car.

Louis makes it through the day without displaying too many emotions, not that his mother doesn’t completely make up for his lack of waterworks by pretending she’s not tearing up each time he goes upstairs for another box. His siblings stay clear of him while he’s gathering all of his belongings. They wave him goodbye with sad smiles of regret like they hate seeing him go as much as their mother does. It makes Louis feel marginally better, thinking back to when Harry assured him that his siblings  _ do _ want him around. Louis is just about to close the door behind him to go out and join his mother in the car when one of his sisters quickly runs down the stairs to wrap him in a tight, wordless hug that speaks volumes as Louis’ eyes sting with unshed tears.

“We’re all going to miss you, you know,” his mother says once he’s in the car, still grinning from the giant hug he just received from Daisy.

“I know. I’ll miss you guys too,” Louis tells her.

“ _ I’m _ going to miss you,” she sniffs and it breaks Louis’ heart all over again. He pulls her into a hug across the middle console of the car and reminds her that he’s only going to be a few minutes away and that he’ll come visit as often as he can. His words don’t do much to comfort her, Louis realizes when she continues to sniff, but her eldest child was unexpectedly taken from her and then he was tossed back out of nowhere. Louis can’t really blame her for reacting this way to him leaving again.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers once Louis lets her go.

“Don’t be,” he begs. “I get it. I know this is hard for you, Mum. It’s hard for me too.”

His mother nods with a gracious grin tugging at the corners of her lips. “I’m so glad you’ll be with someone you can talk to. Someone who’s going to be there for you and be able to understand. I’m glad you’re going to be with Harry.”

Louis swallows hard as his mother puts the car in drive. He’s glad he’ll be living with someone as great as Harry too, but that doesn’t make him any less nervous about it.

When they pull up outside of Harry’s building, the first thing Louis sees is his new flatmate’s welcoming smile.

“You made it,” he beams, like Louis showing up is the highlight of his day. He hugs Louis and his mother hello before jumping right into helping carry Louis’ things inside.

They follow Harry up to the third floor and the first thing Louis notices about the place is that it’s very nice. His mother has agreed to help him out with his part of the rent for as long as he needs. That’ll give Louis time to find a job and one that pays well based on the size of Harry’s flat when he opens their door.

“So, this is it,” Harry grins, walking them through the flat for a quick tour. “This is the living room, kitchen, bathroom, my room,” Harry says as he opens his bedroom door to let them see inside. He walks over to the closed door right across from his and pushes it open. “And this is your room,” Harry smiles.

Louis steps in to take a better look. It’s a lot bigger than his room at home, that’s for sure, but it’s not so extravagant that he feels out of place with his box of clothes resting in his arms. There’s a window on the left dressed with thin white curtains that let in the sun, and the furniture that’s left looks used which reminds him of his older things at home.

“I told you my other flatmate took off kind of quick when I uh, came back,” Harry awkwardly explains. “He left a lot of stuff behind, but I cleaned out most of it and only left things I thought you could maybe use.”

Louis assumes he means the lamp still sitting on the bedside table and the stack of books over on the dresser that he’ll have to take a closer look at later. “It’s perfect,” Louis grins.

“Really? You think so?” Harry asks, looking almost relieved like he had been scared that Louis wouldn’t like it.

“Yeah, it’s great. I love it,” Louis assures him, already picturing his new room filled with all of his things. He still can’t believe that Harry did this for him, offering up his home and friendship without a second thought, but Louis’ so glad that he did.

*

His mother leaves shortly after they get all of Louis’ boxes placed in his room. Their goodbye isn’t as tearful as Louis had been expecting but his throat was tight and burning the entire time that she held him. It’s only just loosening now, and she’s been gone for ten minutes.

Louis begins working on unpacking some of his things, starting with the first box that he comes to just for a distraction from everything going on in his brain. Thankfully, he only gets as far as a few shirts and some socks before a soft tapping at his door causes him to look up.

“Oh. Hi, Harry.”

“Hey, Lou,” Harry grins. He hesitates at the door before taking a small step inside the room. He looks a bit unsure about standing there, so Louis invites him in further.

“Come on in,” Louis waves to him, taking a seat on his new comfy bed. It’s way better than the one at his mum’s. “What’s up?” Louis asks as Harry moves the box over to the center of the bed so he can sit down right next to him. He really is beautiful, Louis thinks when Harry gives Louis a shy smile. He gets why his mother was acting so ridiculous about the two of them. Anybody would be lucky to have Harry. Anybody of course who isn’t Louis. He can’t allow that to happen no matter how completely gorgeous he is. After all, Harry’s his only friend these days and Louis can’t go fucking that up.

“I saw you and your mum when she left. I just wanted to come make sure you’re alright.”

Louis quickly adds caring and thoughtful to the list of amazing things about him.

“It was hard saying goodbye to everyone today, but I’m okay. I’m alright. Thanks for checking in on me,” Louis says with a playful nudge to his arm.

“That’s what flatmates are for,” Harry teases. Louis wouldn’t know much about that. He lived on his own before he died, so he doesn’t have much experience in that department.

“Really? I always heard flatmates were for things like cooking,” he jokes. It only makes Harry grin wider.

“Are you hungry?” Harry asks with those wide green eyes of his. “I could make us something to eat. We could celebrate you moving in.”

Louis shakes his head when he sees how serious Harry is about this. “Harry, no. I was only joking. I didn’t mean for you to  _ actually _ cook. It’s okay.”

Harry only looks momentarily dejected by Louis’ refusal for food. “Well, since you’re going to be a weirdo about me cooking for you, we’ll order something in. Do you like Chinese? What about pizza?”

“Harry, no,” Louis insists. “Really. It’s-”

“Are you saying you hate pizza? Because if you are, then this isn’t going to work. You’re going to have to go,” Harry says with a solemn shake of his head.

Louis frowns down at his hands for a whole two seconds before he notices his flatmate smirking out of the corner of his eye and realizes Harry is full of shit. “You’re a dick,” Louis laughs, watching as Harry stands.

“No, I’m going to order us some pizza. What kind do you want?” he asks as he walks out of the room. Louis doesn’t even get to answer before Harry’s voice calls out to him from the corridor. “I’ll take your silence as a request for pepperoni!”

Louis grins to himself and the room full of boxes he suddenly has no interest whatsoever in unpacking. He loves pepperoni.

*

Harry’s still on the phone ordering the pizza when Louis trails out of his room after him. His gaze slides over everything as he waits for Harry to finish. He’d only had a moment to look earlier when Harry had given him and his mum the tour so he takes his time now, tracing his fingers over the spines of the books on the bookshelf. Apparently, Harry is a shameless romantic given the amount of bodice rippers on display out in the open where anyone can see. Louis keeps his in a box under his bed, and that’s a secret that will die with him. Err, again. Well, his are not so much bodice rippers as… trouser rippers?? What  _ is _ the term for gay trashy romance novels?

Shaking his head at his train of thought, Louis moves on to the pictures hanging up on Harry’s walls. There’s a picture of Harry with a slightly older, female version of himself. His sister, Louis guesses. They’re both giving each other bunny ears and have matching smiles that are verging on outright laughter. It makes Louis smile even as his eyes sting, thinking about how he used to get on with his own sisters. He desperately wishes he could get back whatever they lost.

The next picture has a blond boy with mirth-filled, blue eyes hanging off of Harry while he poses behind a somewhat inappropriate dick cake with glazed eyes and a lazy grin. He’s obviously been drinking as evidenced by the glass bottle in his hand.

“Oh, no. Don’t look at that!” Harry yells, laughing as he rushes to Louis’ side and covers the picture with a splayed open hand. “That’s a horrible picture and it would not be on my wall if Niall hadn’t framed it and stuck it up there himself.”

“Aww,” Louis coos with a smirk. “That’s adorable, Curly. Are you going to let me put up embarrassing pictures of us, too?” The wording sounds a little too intimate and Louis clarifies awkwardly. “You know, after we’ve been friends long enough to  _ have _ embarrassing pictures.”

Harry smiles at him and drops his hand from the picture as he plays along. “Why don’t you keep those in your room?”

Louis laughs lightly and tries not to think too hard about keeping pictures of Harry and himself in his room. “I have to ask,” He adds a second later as he follows Harry to the sofa.

“Yes?” Harry indulges him as they sit down together to wait out the delivery of their food, a curious lilt to his brow.

“What’s with the dick cake?”

Harry’s loud, boisterous bark of laughter is enough to make Louis glad he asked even as he decides he doesn’t care about the answer. Making Harry laugh like that as often as possible has just become his new mission in life.

“That was all Niall,” Harry answers, sobering quite a bit as he thinks back on the memory, lips still lifting in a smile but one tinged with sadness. “It was just a few months before…”

Louis can guess what Harry’s not saying and he nods when Harry glances at him to let him know he understands.

“Anyway,” Harry continues after taking a deep breath. “I had just graduated Uni and I had gotten an internship with a men’s fashion magazine,” he laughs a little,” though, when I told Niall, all he heard was  _ men’s magazine _ . So to celebrate, he threw me a big surprise party with dicks  _ everywhere _ because he assumed I’d be seeing them on a regular basis from then on.”

“Oh my god,” Louis mutters with a chuckle.

“Oh no,” Harry says placing a hand on Louis’ knee. “It gets worse.”

“How could it possibly get worse?”

“Well, at the time, I was working at a bakery…”

“Oh no,” Louis giggles, Harry joining in as he keeps telling his story.

“So, Niall goes to my boss – this sweet little seventy-three year old woman – and orders this dick cake from her-” Louis’ cackle interrupts the story for a second, Harry smiling proudly like he considers drawing that sound from him an accomplishment. “- telling her it’s for me because I’m about to be getting all the dick I can handle.”

“He didn’t,” Louis wheezes, eyes watering from how hard he’s laughing.

“Oh, he  _ did _ ,” Harry groans. “So, for the next  _ week _ up until the party, my boss keeps looking at me funny every time she sees me and I keep finding all these condoms in the pockets of my apron.”

“Oh my god, _ stop _ ,” Louis begs, still cackling his head off. “I can’t breathe.”

Harry shrugs with a smirk. “So, long story short. That was the time my best friend inadvertently terrorized me by making me think a seventy-three year old woman was trying to sleep with me.”

“That’s hilarious,” Louis laughs, clutching his chest as he catches his breath. “I think I’d like to meet this bloke.”

Harry’s face falls a little at Louis’ words.

“Harry?” Louis asks, sobering quickly when Harry turns his face a little and coughs to clear his throat.

“Yeah. No, sorry,” he says, turning back to Louis and trying and failing to blank out his expression. “I don’t know where he is.”

“ _ Oh _ .” Louis feels awful. Of course he would bring up something painful and ruin their good time. It’s been six years, of course some of their friends would drift away after that. Kind of like Louis and Zayn, though Louis still knew where Zayn was physically. “Sorry. I should have thought about that.”

“No, no,” Harry says with a shake of his head, resting a reassuring hand on Louis’ shoulder. “You couldn’t have known. And, I mean, I heard that he moved back to Ireland after... after I died,” Harry speaks the words so quietly, like he’s afraid if he’s too loud, death will come knocking and tell him that this little reprieve of theirs was one big practical joke and it’s time to crawl back into their graves now. If he’s honest with himself, Louis is terrified of the very same thing.  “I’ve tried writing him and calling his old cell but… he doesn’t answer.”

Louis pulls Harry’s hand from his shoulder and hopes he’s not crossing some kind of boundary when he holds it in his own, placing his other hand on top of it. “I’m sorry, Harry.”

Harry shrugs with another sad smile and doesn’t pull his hand away. His eyes leave Louis and fall on the picture on the wall. “I wouldn’t take that picture down for anything.”

“It’s a good picture.” Louis agrees, with a squeeze of Harry’s hand.

“Do  _ you _ have any embarrassing pictures to share?” Harry asks, obviously trying to lighten the mood again.

Louis narrows his eyes at his flatmate. “I don’t think we’re there yet,” He says patting Harry’s hand condescendingly and managing not to laugh until after Harry lets loose an indignant squawk. “ _ Fine _ ,” he gives in with a grin. “I’ll go through my pictures later and pull out some good ones for you.”

“No time like the present,” Harry argues, biting back a smile.

Louis doesn’t know how he can feel at ease with this boy he barely knows when his own family puts him so on edge but somehow, they just  _ fit _ . It takes nothing at all to throw himself across Harry’s lap and feign a sigh. “I would but I’m so comfortable here,” he says, putting on a haughty air. “Harry, do be a dear and turn on the telly.”

“Louis,” Harry calls his attention gently so that he turns his head to see Harry smiling down at him sweetly. “I’m not a pillow.” And with that, he pushes Louis to the floor, cackling when Louis lands with a grunt.

“Just for that, I’m stealing your bodice rippers and replacing them with boring shit like those books they made us read in sixth form.”

Harry gasps, hand to his heart, “You wouldn’t!”

Despite his terrible acting, Louis still can’t help thinking he’s adorable. “I  _ would _ .”

Somehow they end up in an actual pillow fight until the pizza arrives. As Harry goes to answer the door and Louis’ chest heaves from the breathless laughter and running around, Louis realizes it’s the best time he’s had since he’s been back in the land of the living.

*

“Alright, listen to these two. Do I seem like more of the help-desk/receptionist type or the automotive warehouse worker type?”

Harry raises an eyebrow where he’s laid back against the grass watching the clouds as they pass by, his graceful lips quirked in amusement. “Do you know anything at all about cars?”

“Kind of. I know the basics,” Louis says coolly.

“Like, where the brake pedal is located and how the little arrow pointing at the big E on the round thing means you’ve fucked up?” Louis purses his lips in annoyance, causing Harry to snort through his nose. “ _ Definitely _ the help-desk type,” he laughs.

Louis sighs, glancing down at his phone and the list of jobs and hiring employers in the area. Alright, so maybe he doesn’t really know much about cars, but it’s not like he’s much of a people person either unless it involves the curly-haired boy currently splayed out next to him with a random daisy tucked behind his ear, but even his and Harry’s relationship started off kind of rocky.

“Maybe I should just turn to drugs. It’s bound to pay better than ‘ _ part-time service data entry clerk,’ _ ” Louis sighs. “Like, what the hell does that even mean?” he asks as he tosses his phone to the side. He flops down to lie down beside Harry, staring up in frustration at the clouds above.

“Drugs could be a good career option for you, but if starting your own cartel doesn’t work out I think the club downtown is short a few dancers,” he grins.

Louis tilts his head to the side to give him a flat look.

“Stripping? Really, Haz?”

“I believe the correct term is  _ exotic dancing _ ,” he giggles, “And don’t look so offended. At least you know what the hell exotic dancing is unlike your weird automotive retail data analysis receptionist tech  _ thing _ .”

Louis’ forehead crinkles with each stumbled word his roommate utters, eventually letting out a mad cackle.

“You do realize you just rolled every job there is into one giant clusterfuck, right? That’s not a real thing,” Louis informs him.

“Whatever I just said may not technically exist but I bet it’d still pay well,” Harry brags matter-of-factly. Louis merely sighs to himself because at this point  _ any _ job would pay better than what he’s currently doing which is a big pile of nothing. Harry notices the shift in Louis’ mood immediately and gently knocks their feet together to get his attention. “Hey. Don’t worry about it. You’ve still got plenty of time to find a job and your mum agreed to help out for as long as you need.”

Harry’s effort to help only makes him feel like more of a freeloader.

“Yeah, I know she did, but the money she’s spending on me should be going to my siblings. I can’t keep relying on her wallet.” Louis already feels guilty enough being unexpectedly slammed back into their lives. The least he can do is support himself so he’s not so much of a burden. “I think the sooner I find a job, the better for everyone,” he says.  

He frowns up at the sky again, the pressure to get his life in order weighing down on him when a sun kissed hand unexpectedly slides into his.

“I know you’re worried, Lou, but everything’s going to be fine,” Harry says with a firm squeeze of his hand. “I have no doubt that you’ll find an amazing job on your own, but if you need help, even just a friend to talk to, I’m here.”

When Louis goes to thank him for being so wonderful he has trouble deciding if the freshly cut grass they’re lying on or the color of Harry’s eyes is richer. He finds himself caught in lots of internal debates about Harry these days like whether or not he knows how much Louis appreciates all that he’s done for him; how much he’s still doing even right this second. 

“Aww, you’d do that?” Louis teases. “You’d help me?”

Harry rolls his eyes with a little blush painting his cheeks. He gently pulls his hand out of Louis’ grip and the new empty feeling makes Louis regret opening his big mouth.

“Of course I would,” Harry answers. “I remember how hard it was. How hard it still is just being back. Finding a job and getting settled in again could’ve been really difficult for me, but I was lucky,” Harry admits.

Harry lost his internship and his job at the bakery when he died. The internship was long gone by the time he came back, but thankfully his boss at the bakery loved him so much and wanted nothing more than to take him on again that she gave him a place in a world that tries so hard to push the returned away. Louis wishes good fortune like that would smile down on him too, but something tells him it won’t be that easy. Nothing ever is.

“Can we talk about something else?” Louis asks after a pause. “My brain hurts. Responsibility overload,” he complains, pinching the bridge of his nose to release some of the pressure building there. Who knew that simply thinking about stress could be so bloody stressful?

“Sure,” Harry agrees easily. “Fat giraffe,” he says out of nowhere.

Louis cuts his eyes over at him after his random outburst. “Er-  _ What? _ ” Louis laughs.

Harry smiles; the rare kind where his nose and eyes crinkle up from trying to contain his laughter.

“ _Fat_ _giraffe_ ,” Harry repeats. “Up there,” he says, pointing at the sky. “You said you wanted to talk about something else and the cloud right above us moved so now it looks like a giraffe. See, the top part is his head. His neck is a little fat because he just ate, but his legs are good. They’re skinny and knobby like they’re supposed to be.”

Louis follows the path of Harry’s pointed index finger to the elongated, clumpy figure stretched across the sky. Louis’ never been particularly good at this game, but he always pretended to be for his sisters. Even when he was a kid he had trouble imagining things and seeing what wasn’t plainly laid out in front of him. Harry, Louis realizes, does not share in his problem, but that’s probably because Harry is unlike anybody that Louis’ ever known.

He likes to visit the park on sunny days and lie in open fields of grass because he wants to better appreciate all things in life now that he has a second chance at it. Louis doesn’t know what to say when people stare at him like he’s something out of a horror film, whereas Harry enjoys talking to everyone he encounters even though most are still afraid. Harry opens his home up to people he deems as friends and sees giraffes and a dozen other exciting things inside of a single white cloud whereas Louis only sees white space.

“I can’t make out any giraffe, but I’ll take your word for it, Curly. I’m sure it’s up there.”

“Well, what do you think it is?” Harry asks, putting him on the spot. He panics much like he used to when his sisters would ask him the same question. He thinks for a while but eventually resorts to making something up, saying he thinks the cloud next to Harry’s looks like a bicycle when he really just sees a giant, puffy wall of nothing.

Harry grins when his eyes settle on the cloud that Louis’ referring to.

“Oh, okay. I see it. You’re exactly right,” he says, causing Louis’ nerves to settle. He had been so worried that Harry would call him out on not seeing anything at all.

“Yeah? You think so?” Louis asks unsure, knowing that his cloud probably looks nothing like a bicycle, but he’s thankful that Harry’s willing to play along for his sake.

“Well, okay. I can  _ kind of _ see it,” Harry chuckles, “But all that matters is that you do. That’s what makes this game interesting. I like that you see bicycles when I don’t see anything at all,” he grins, and for the first time since he was a kid lying in this same patch of grass, Louis doesn’t feel like such an idiot.

“You know what, Curly? You’re actually pretty smart sometimes,” Louis teases.

“Yeah, it’s exhausting being this profound about cloud games. Who knew?” he grins. Louis laughs and has to shut his eyes to block out the sunshine peeking out from behind Harry’s giraffe when the wind moves it. He turns his head as well to avoid staring straight into its rays, and when he opens his eyes again, Harry’s green ones are staring right at him.

“You’re going to find a great job that you love and everything’s going to be great, Lou. I just know it,” he whispers. Harry’s words are bathed in summer light and he sounds so certain of Louis’ eventual happiness that for a moment, Louis can almost believe it too.

*

Louis tugs at his tie. He hates wearing ties but he’ll do it gladly if it will help him get this job and stop needing a hand out from his mother. The stupid thing feels like it’s choking him. Or maybe that’s his nerves. It’s been over six years since he’s had to do an interview. His knee jiggles as he waits anxiously in an overstuffed chair in the lobby of MetaTech, a software company that’s mostly known for its antivirus software. He’d gone for the data entry job as Harry had suggested.

“Mr. Tomlinson,” the current receptionist calls, standing so that she can see Louis over the top of her desk and Louis can see her extended belly, round with child as she points him towards a set of double doors.  “Mr. Beresford will see you now.”

“Thank you,” Louis says politely, heading towards the doors she’d indicated. He may be a boisterous train wreck most days but he can pull out his manners when he needs them. He knocks on one of the doors and waits until he hears a muffled ‘come in’ before opening it and stepping over the threshold.

“Louis Tomlinson?” Beresford asks rising from his seat with a proffered hand and smiling when Louis confirms his identity with a ‘yessir’, shaking his hand firmly. “Excellent. Have a seat.”

Louis sits in the chair Beresford gestures him to and tries to look confident.

“How are you doing today, Mr. Tomlinson?” Beresford asks easily but Louis can see the man’s sharp eyes trailing over him, scrutinizing him already.

“Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” Louis smiles. “So, I think my day’s going pretty well, so far.”

Beresford smiles and Louis gives himself one point in the ‘hired’ column of the mental tally he’s got going in his head.

“Fantastic,” Beresford answers, looking down at the folder sitting on the desk in front of him, presumably Louis’ CV. “I really only have two questions, Mr. Tomlinson. The first of which is pretty standard.” The man spreads his hands as he asks, “Why are you here?”

Louis nearly stumbles in his answer, panicking for a second at the question.  _ Can Beresford already tell just how out of his depth Louis is? Does he know, just from looking at him, that Louis doesn’t belong here?  _ He quickly gets a hold of himself, forcing a chuckle. “Money is a great motivator,” Louis says with another laugh, hoping it sounds more genuine than it feels. “But can I assume you mean why MetaTech?”

“That wouldn’t be a bad leap to make,” Beresford answers cryptically and Louis remembers quite suddenly why he’d hated looking for jobs in the past. It’s places like this that expect you to interpret their questions so that they can map the way your mind thinks that make Louis cringe at the whole process.

“I can’t lie,” Louis answers smoothly despite the ugly feeling settling into his belly. He needs a job badly. Even if it’s one he’ll hate. “I looked into your company when I saw the ad for this position because I wasn’t really sure what you did here. And when I saw that you’re the leader in antivirus software, I realized that I have your software on my own computer.” It’s a lie. Louis doesn’t have a computer anymore. His landlord had sold his things when Louis hadn’t turned up to pay rent after a month and a half. The man hadn’t known he was dead at the time. “And I know that I don’t have the knowledge to help with that side of things but I think it’s a noble thing what you’re doing, protecting people from online predators and such. I’d like to be a part of your team, even if it’s a smaller part. Every little bit helps, right?”

It’s a load of bullshit. A great, heaping pile. Honestly, even Louis doesn’t know where he comes up with this stuff but Louis’ always been particularly good at bullshit and it’s got Beresford smiling at Louis in a way that has him adding four more points to his ‘hired’ tally.

“That’s excellent. Now, the thing I’m most curious about is this six year gap in your employment history…” Beresford trails off, waiting for Louis to pick up what he’s laying down and Louis should have known it wasn’t going to be so easy to get this job.

“Oh, yeah. Well, I wasn’t really around for a while, so that’s why there’s nothing there,” Louis shrugs, trying to keep his smile confident while playing off his death like it was just a minor inconvenience.

“You were… out of the country?” Beresford asks and Louis wonders if he’s purposely being obtuse.

“No. I was here. I was just, sort of, well, dead for a while,” Louis chuckles nervously. “But I’m here now, and I promise I’ll be a great member of your team.”

The smile on Beresford’s face vanishes at the word ‘dead’, the glimmer in his eye that was transmitting ‘I like this guy’ has died a death of its own, now replaced with a hardness that says ‘he’s one of  _ those _ ’.

“Well, thank you for coming in, Mr. Tomlinson,” Beresford ends the interview abruptly, rising from his seat and gesturing for the door. “We’ll let you know.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you, sir,” Louis says standing, he reaches out to shake Beresford’s hand again even though he knows he’s not getting the job but the man purposefully ignores it, walking past to open the door since, apparently, Louis isn’t leaving fast enough.

“Good day, Mr. Tomlinson.”

“And you as well, sir,” Louis says, walking calmly until he gets outside where he stops, just around the corner, and tries not to let the disappointment overwhelm him. He gives himself a minute to just breathe and then continues walking back to the bus stop to head home and if his eyes tear up while he waits for the bus, no one says anything.

*

“How’d it go?” Harry asks from the kitchen when Louis closes the door behind himself upon returning home. He’s not looking at Louis yet. If he was, he wouldn’t need to ask.

Louis rips the tie from his neck, tossing it wherever and walking over to faceplant into the sofa with a groan.

He hears Harry’s footfalls as he comes to check on him, hears how they falter for a second before continuing on.

“That bad?” Harry’s tone is sympathetic as he sits down in the scant space left next to Louis’ head.

Louis lifts his head to give Harry more room and ends up resting it in Harry’s lap as the other boy runs his fingers soothingly through Louis’ hair.

“I  _ had it _ , Haz. I was so close and then he just  _ had _ to ask where I was during the six year gap in between jobs. You’d think I told him I was struggling not to eat his brain with how fast he threw me out of his office,” Louis sulks.

Harry hums as he works his fingers through the strands of Louis’ hair. “Wouldn’t want that one anyway,” he says after a few seconds.

“What?” Louis’ been letting his mind wonder over everything he wishes he’d said to the douche and for a moment, he’s confused as to what Harry’s on about.

“His brain,” Harry clarifies thoughtfully. “Wouldn’t want to eat that one. It’s obviously gone bad if he can’t see what an amazing employee you’d be.”

Louis stares up at Harry’s serious face for a second before he can’t help cracking a smile.  _ This boy _ . What’s Louis supposed to do with him? “Or perhaps it’s just too small,” Louis adds, smile growing when Harry nods, cheek dimpling happily at Louis playing along.

“You’re probably right. Definitely not worth getting upset over.”

Louis rolls his eyes but his grin doesn’t diminish. “Very subtle, Curly.”

“I was cooking barbeque chicken pasta for lunch but if you’re in the mood for brains, I suppose I could change the menu,” Harry muses, ignoring Louis’ comment completely.

“Barbeque  _ brain _ pasta?”

“Maybe we could start a cookbook,” Harry suggests, straight-faced.

“Oh my god,” Louis laughs. “Please don’t put brains in my food.”

“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” Harry gets up, dropping Louis’ head back onto the sofa and smacking his leg as he walks past, back to the kitchen.

“Oh no. Have you gone over to the darkside, Curly?” Louis calls after him.

“Just be grateful zombie brains aren’t appetizing,” Harry calls back. “You’re safe.”

Louis laughs with a shake of his head.  And he’d thought his whole day was going to be ruined.

*

Louis’ filled with new determination the next week when he’s able to get three more interviews. It was hard admitting it, but not getting that job at MetaTech stung deeper than he ever thought possible. He only got to sulk about it for a little while though before he realized he was better off without it. It’s not like there aren’t other,  _ better _ places that he could work as Harry so kindly reminded him about a million times. He needs a job, but it doesn’t have to be that one, so Louis lets Mr. Beresford and all of his unfounded fear and prejudice roll right off of his back.

He interviews for two receptionist positions as well as another data entry job a few days later. Neither of them results in Louis getting hired, but neither of them ends quite as horribly and spectacularly as the MetaTech interview either, so he guesses that’s progress. His interviewers’ eyes always grow wide when he drops the bomb about him being back from the dead, but they all manage to keep an upbeat smile glued to their faces the whole time they’re thinking up polite ways to inform Louis that he won’t be working there. Each day Louis comes home with heavy shoulders and the desire to crawl into bed and sleep until he doesn’t feel like such a failure anymore, but his roommate is right there for him with his reassuring words and his dumb jokes about the two of them starting up a zombie apocalypse in retaliation. Harry builds him back up piece by piece, and somehow by the next morning Louis’ confidence is renewed, his skin has gotten just a little bit thicker, and he’s ready go back out there and try again.

Louis curls his fingers around the collar of his shirt as he waits in the stiff blue armchair outside of Mr. Payne’s office. He nervously glances over at the door every few seconds as he scrolls through the cheat sheet he pulled up on his phone trying to memorize facts about the property management company he didn’t even realize he applied to and yet somehow got the call for less than an hour ago. He doesn’t know a single thing about managing real-estate; even less than he knows about cars, so he’s using every free second he has to research.

His eyes scan over the words contractor, correspondence, and tenants before the door to the office swings open revealing a man with short hair who grins when he sees Louis snatch his hand away from his shirt collar and quickly turn over his phone like he wasn’t just Googling the shit out of his potential boss.

“Louis Tomlinson?” he asks. Louis stands up and makes his way over to him, discreetly tucking his phone into his back pocket. “I’m glad you could make it on such short notice,” he says kindly as he holds the door open for him.

“It’s my pleasure, sir. Thanks for inviting me down,” Louis says as he steps into the office.

The room is large but it feels so much smaller with Louis being the center of attention. He waits until he’s asked to have a seat in the single thin chair across from a desk and the man reaches out to firmly shake his hand. “Hello, Louis. It’s nice to meet you. My name is Liam Payne. I’m the director here at Halstead Property Management and Renovations and I’m currently looking for a new personal assistant.” Louis’ breathes a quiet sigh of relief hearing that because he was sure this job was for something he had no clue about. Personal assisting should be easy he thinks as Liam continues. “The PA that I had before was great and also a good friend of my mine that I’ve known for years, but she recently got married and decided to move with her husband to his hometown.”

“Oh. I’m sorry your friend left,” Louis offers, unsure of what he’s supposed to say about a nasty situation that has afforded him the opportunity to interview for this job, but Liam shakes his head in slight amusement.

“No, no, Louis,” he grins. “Her moving away to start the next chapter in her life was a great thing, but mostly for  _ her _ . It kind of leaves me in an awkward position since she’s been my PA for so long. I’m basically brand new to this whole interviewing thing so bear with me. I’m still learning,” he says, his admission immediately putting Louis at ease, because Liam looks about as nervous as he feels so that means they’re both in the same boat.

For the next few minutes Liam goes over a list of duties that being his PA includes and so far none of it sounds too difficult. He’ll be responsible for answering phones and emails, setting up meetings and producing any documents that might be requested, and any other small jobs that could help the flow of day-to-day business. He’ll mostly work here in this building, but sometimes he might accompany Liam out to a property or to a meeting being held in another location.

“How am I doing so far?” Liam asks once he’s finished telling him about the position.

“Pretty good. You’re definitely in my personal top five for best potential employers,” Louis jokes. Liam laughs at that, his eyes crinkling up before putting away his list and turning all of his attention to him.

“Okay, Louis. Now it’s your turn. Can you tell me a little about yourself and why you think you’d be a good fit here?” This interview is going so well at the moment that Louis wishes he didn’t have to say anything at all. He usually tries to graze right over this part of his interviews since there’s a part of him that makes people so uncomfortable, but downplaying it never really ends well for him. Perhaps he should just skip the bullshit and get right to the point. After all, it won’t be the first office he’s been thrown out of.

“Honestly, I’ve been looking for a new job for a while now. I’ve interviewed for a few potential employers but I can never seem to get past that point, mostly due to the big gap in my work history which I’m sure you too have noticed. I’d like to have a fresh start and I think I could be a great assistant to you and your company if given the chance. I’m a fast, hard worker and I’d like the opportunity to prove that to you.”

Liam seems impressed with his candid answer as he nods along. “That sounds great, Louis. I think we’d work very well together,” he smiles. “And, you’re right. I did notice that there are a few blank years on your CV. Could you tell me just a little bit more about that? It was five or six years, right?” he checks as he pulls up the information.

“Yeah, um…it was six,” Louis nods with his explanation caught in his throat. “I- I kind of wasn’t here for a while,” he says, feeling the familiar stirring of nerves in the pit of his stomach. “…And the reason I wasn’t working for so long is because I died,” Louis says as quietly as he can, like the volume of the truth might make it less awkward to say aloud.

Louis watches every inch of Liam’s face as this new information sinks in just as he’s watched this very phenomenon unfold nearly every day this week. He already knows what to expect. The inaudible gasp and tightening of the mouth once they realize he’s one of the returned. The way every flicker of light drains right out of their eyes like void and emotionless black holes that hold nothing in them for Louis or what he’s been through, except, Liam isn’t really doing any of those things.

Rather than a gasp, Louis’ admission earns him a fond grin that seems a bit out of place considering what Louis’ just admitted, and Liam’s brown eyes already so swathed in warmth and light, only turn softer and more kind when he tells Louis that his sister is one of the returned too.

They don’t talk about the interview anymore after Liam pulls out his phone and scrolls through older pictures of his sister with her new husband and their daughter who was only a year old at the time. There are pictures of Liam’s brother-in-law and niece during the six years that she was gone, but he skips over them, choosing to show Louis new pictures of his sister looking more beautiful and radiant than ever with her husband and their daughter who is now seven.

“They look so happy,” Louis smiles.

“They are. We all are. We thought we’d lost her forever. Suddenly, I didn’t have a sister. My parents didn’t have a daughter, Thomas lost his wife, and Mia no longer had a mum, but then a miracle happened and she came back to us. We couldn’t be more grateful.”

Louis has only ever heard a handful people talk about the returned in such a positive light, his mother included. She tells him every chance that she gets how thankful she is that he’s back. He wonders if she ever tells perfect strangers about him like Liam just did with his sister.

“She seems lovely and so…I don’t know. Just,  _ alive _ ,” Louis marvels. Most of the people who have died and come back say they feel like broken, jagged edges of glass forced into a stained glass picture that doesn’t quite have room for them. Louis shares in that feeling most days. He doesn’t feel like he fits in anywhere really, but Liam’s sister makes it look easy. Maybe a life like that is possible for someone like him after all.  Maybe his mother will show pictures of him and he’ll look just as happy.

“I know you’ve only just gotten the job, but maybe you could come to dinner one night and meet her and the rest of the family? I think she’d really like that.”

“Yeah, for sure. I’d love to come over and meet her and-” Louis freezes when the rest of Liam’s sentence filters through his brain. “Did- Did you just say I got the job?” Louis asks in astonishment.

Liam laughs with crinkled eyes again as he puts his phone away. “I was wondering how long it’d take you to notice, but yes, I did. The job is officially yours! If you still want it, that is. I did kind of hijack the whole interview process to brag about my sister. Whoops.”

“No, no, no, that’s okay. I didn’t mind. And, yes, I still want it!” Louis assures him, barely able to contain the smile on his face.

“Okay, great. Welcome to the team! I’ll see you here tomorrow at seven.”

“Thank you so much! I promise you won’t regret it.” Louis hops up from his seat and shakes Liam’s hand with more energy than is probably necessary, but he can’t contain it. “I’ll see you in the morning!” he says before seeing himself back out to the lobby. He stops just outside of the door when Liam’s voice catches up to him.

“Oh, and Louis! I forgot to talk about dress code, but a tie isn’t required unless you want to wear one every day. Business casual is just fine if you’re more laid-back like most people here.”

“Okay. Great. Thanks!” Louis calls back. This day just keeps getting better and better.

*

When Louis gets home he practically crashes through the door still high off the adrenaline rush of finally doing something right. He kicks off his shoes in the entranceway and takes off through the flat in search of his roommate.

“HARRY! Haz! Where are you?”

“Kitchen!” a familiar voice yells.

Louis heads in that direction nearly knocking Harry over when he rounds the corner to find him standing there in an apron and holding a giant mixing spoon. Harry frowns down at him like he’s about to ask what’s wrong, but before he can, Louis pulls him into a crushing hug, squeezing him so hard that Harry lets out a small squeak before he bursts into giggles.

“What’s this about?”

“I got a job!”

Louis has yet to say the words out loud. He’d been holding them in until he got home, wanting Harry to be the first person he told.

“Fuck, Lou, that’s amazing! Congratulations!” Harry says, squeezing Louis back as best as he can with his mixing spoon still clenched tight in his fist.

Louis leans into him, still buzzing so much that when he finally lifts his head from Harry’s shoulder he turns his head to press a hard kiss to his cheek as well.

The sound of his puckered lips against Harry’s skin sobers him from the happy delirium he was just under, but the way Harry’s lips pull up into a shy grin has his pulse quickening as if he’s just been told he got the job all over again. “Shit. Sorry,” Louis apologizes, taking a very wide step back. “I was just so excited,” he says, trying to laugh it off.

“No, it’s fine. I- I didn’t really mind,” he says wearing that same grin that now has Louis’ cheeks heating up. He can’t believe he just kissed his roommate on the  _ face _ . Who even does shit like that?

It gets quiet as Louis mentally kicks himself for obviously having no respect for boundaries  _ at all _ . He breaks the silence when he notices the mixing spoon still in Harry’s hand. “What were you cooking?”

“Uh, I wasn’t. I was baking, actually. Cookies,” Harry says pointing to the things he left over near the oven. If there’s one good thing about living with a baker, it’s all the delicious food he gets to sample.

“Yum. May I ask what kind?”

“White chocolate chip of course.”

Louis moans just thinking about how good they are. He ate half a dozen of them on his own just this past weekend. “Those are my absolute favorite,” Louis grins.

“I know,” Harry laughs. “That’s why I made them. They’re celebration cookies. For you.”

The grin falls off of Louis’ face as he narrows his eyes at his roommate.

“Wait a minute. How could they be for me? You didn’t even know I got the job until five minutes ago.”

“True. I didn’t know for sure if you’d get it or not, but I was really hoping you would,” he grins. “It seems my instincts were right.”

Louis watches his roommate return to the countertop where all of his ingredients are laid out, wondering if the thrill of getting a job is what has his heart skipping beats or if the strange new rhythm could be attributed to something else. He’s still riding such a high from earlier that he doesn’t question it for very long.

*

Louis finishes adding another client to his boss’ appointment calendar and smiles to himself.  “That’s Thursday at two o’clock, Mrs. Latham. You’re officially on the calendar.”

“Thank you, dear.”

Mrs. Latham seems to be such a sweet old lady. She reminds Louis of his own grandmother in a lot of ways. When he’d first answered the phone, she’d asked where Danielle was and Louis had been forced to tell her that Danielle had left and it was his first day as her replacement. Louis hadn’t been planning to tell her that but she’d put him at ease right away. It was nice because he’d been really worried about screwing up his first day on the job but now he thinks he’s getting the hang of this personal assistant thing.

“You’re very welcome, lovely,” Louis tells her. “Mr. Payne will see you Thursday.”

“Louis,” Mr. Payne’s voice comes through the intercom little more than thirty seconds after he hangs up the phone.

Louis hits the button to reply. “Yes, Mr. Payne?”

“Could you come in here, please?”

And just like that, Louis’ stomach drops. Mr. Payne doesn’t sound angry, per se. But he doesn’t like he’s planning on commending Louis for doing an awesome job either. “Um, y-yes, sir.”

Oh god, oh god. What’s he done wrong? Surely he hasn’t botched anything too badly but then why else would the boss want to see him?

Fighting down his panic, Louis takes a deep, steadying breath and pushes his rolling chair back from his desk. He’s going to miss that chair, if he’s already fired. He’s never had a roll-y chair before. 

Shaking his ridiculous thoughts from his head, he walks over to the boss’s door and knocks.

“Come in, Louis,” Mr. Payne calls out and Louis opens the door slowly, trying not to give away that he’s second-guessing himself.

“You wanted to see me, sir?” He stands there in the doorway, knees locked together, hands behind his back to hide the fact that they might possibly be trembling a little. He  _ really _ needs this job and he doesn’t want to face the disappointment of telling Harry that he’s failed at adulting  _ again _ . Or worse, telling his mother.

“Please. Close the door and have a seat,” Mr. Payne insists, gesturing to the chair in front of him. The chair Louis was sitting in when he was hired. The chair he’s now likely being fired in.

Louis does as he’s told, albeit slowly. His heart rabbits in his chest as he sits and waits.

Mr. Payne’s eyes flit to Louis’ empty hands, lying in his lap and a look of confusion flashes across his face. “Oh, sorry. I forgot to tell you to grab a notepad and pen. To be fair, you should probably just grab one anytime I ask you in here. I tend to dictate a lot of email replies because I can’t type for shit.”

Louis nearly laughs with relief. “Oh.”

“Shit. I didn’t mean to curse. That’s not very professional, is it?” Liam says with a self-deprecating chuckle. “And I’ve just gone and done it again.”

“No worries, Mr. Payne,” Louis tells him with a grin. If this man only knew what Louis is like if you get him angry or drunk. Or, god forbid,  _ both _ . A couple of ‘shit’s is tame.

“Call me Liam, please, Louis,” Liam says, reaching into his desk and pulling out a pad of paper and swiping a pen from a cup full of them. He leans over his desk to hand them over. “And here, you can use these so you don’t have to go out and get some.

“Oh, thank you, Mr- uh, Liam,” Louis stands to retrieve the items and sits back down, uncapping the pen and preparing to write.

Liam gives him a warm smile and starts in on dictating. He’s horrible at deciding what he wants to say as well and Louis ends up with a page full of things he’s had to strike out, including a few more ‘shit’s and a ‘damn’ but that’s really his fault for writing them down in the first place.

When Liam takes a break from trying to string a decent sentence together, Louis chances throwing out an idea.

“Maybe this would be easier if you type up the messages you want sent and just send them to me. I can correct them and send them back to you to send out. Or send them out for you, if you’d prefer, but I figure you might want to look them over one last time for anything I might have missed.”

Liam pinches his chin thoughtfully, nodding slowly as he considers. “Two sets of eyes is better than one, I suppose. And it _ is _ easier to figure out what I want to say when I can see it in front of me.” His eyes meet Louis’ and he smiles again. “I like it. Let’s do it.”

“Great,” Louis grins, feeling accomplished. “Then, if you don’t need me, I’ll go back to the phones and figuring out the filing system your former PA was using while I wait for those emails.”

“Oh, yeah,” Liam chuckles. “Even I couldn’t figure out Danielle’s filing system. Feel free to arrange them to suit your own work style as long as you can be careful not to lose any of them.”

“Thank you, Liam. I’ll consider that,” Louis walks to the door, hand on the handle when Liam calls his name.

“You’re doing good work here. And this email system you’ve suggested is a good idea. After four years of listening to me blather on, picking and choosing my words, I don’t know why it didn’t occur to Danielle.”

Louis shrugs. “You said you were friends, right? Maybe she just liked spending time with you.”

Liam looks like he wasn’t expecting that answer but the way he directs a smile down at his desk suggests that he likes the thought that his friend just wanted to be around him, no matter what they were doing. Louis knows how that feels lately.

“Thanks, Louis.”

“Anytime, sir,” Louis offers and slips out of the office to get back to work.

*

Liam wasn’t wrong. He’s terrible at typing. Louis nearly laughs aloud at some of the typos and then feels guilty for laughing at the man that’s giving him the chance that no one else would.

He’s almost finished correcting his last email when Liam comes out of his office.

“Fancy getting some lunch?” He asks Louis as he pulls on his jacket. “It’s on me.”

“Sounds good. If you can give me just a second, I just have a few more things to fix and then I can send this back to you to look over when we get back,” Louis answers, eyes never leaving the screen as he reads over Liam’s reply to a Mr. David Schumer.

“Orrrr I could check it now and have you send it for me. That is, if you don’t mind me reading over your shoulder?” Liam suggests, brows lifted hopefully as he stares down at Louis when he looks away from his screen and back at his boss.

Louis laughs because Liam is kind of ridiculous. “Yeah, sure. Go ahead.”

He can feel Liam leaning over him to see his screen as he finishes up the corrections and waits while Liam reads.

A throat clearing insistently makes them both tear their eyes away from the computer to look up at their visitor. Which is none other than Harry Styles in a flour-covered apron that’s obviously been hastily dusted off.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Oh, not at all,” Liam says, straightening up and offering his hand. “Liam Payne, director of Halstead Property Management and Renovations.”

Harry shakes his hand, drawing Louis’ attention to the paper bag in his other hand. “Harry Styles, Louis’ flatmate. Also, baker.” He gestures to his apron.

Liam laughs. “Yes, I can see that. It’s nice to meet you, Harry. Louis and I were about to head out for lunch. Would you like to join us?”

Harry seems surprised at the invitation but ends up declining. “Sorry. I can’t. I have to get back to the bakery.”

“Is something wrong, Harry?” Louis asks, suddenly concerned about Harry showing up at his job when he’s going to have to rush back to work right after. People don’t typically do things like that unless something’s wrong. Do they?

“Well, no,” Harry answers, flush pinking his cheeks as he fiddles with his hair, suddenly seeming nervous. “I just, I didn’t think you had lunch and I didn’t know if you had the money to go out so I brought you some.”

“Aww, Hazza,” Louis coos, getting up from his roll-y chair to walk around his desk and accept the bag Harry brought him. “You’re a sweetheart.”

Harry watches as Louis unrolls the bag and peeks inside.

Louis gasps in delight at finding, among other things, more of Harry’s delicious cookies. “Thanks, Harry,” he says gratefully, reaching out to squeeze Harry’s wrist.

Harry smiles but it’s wobbly as he glances at Liam poking around on Louis’ computer. He leans in close and Louis moves to meet him, offering his ear as Harry quietly asks, “Hey, is he…? Is he hitting on you?”

“What? No,” Louis insists with a laugh before it softens into a fond smile. “But thank you, for checking on me.”

Harry nods, still eyeing Liam warily. “Ok. But if anything changes, just let me know.”

Louis promises he will as hope and a storm of butterflies mingle in his belly. Harry’s genuine concern for him is reason enough for him to feel like this but if Louis didn’t know better, he’d think Harry was a little jealous, too.

*

Louis tries to hide his yawn in the back seat of the cab, but his boss sees it anyway. Louis didn’t want him to know that the meeting they just left nearly put him to sleep, but Liam seems to find his sudden exhaustion amusing.

“Yeah, unfortunately preliminary meetings are never really exciting. Sorry you had to sit through that,” he laughs.

“No, no, I liked it. I enjoyed learning so much about...whatever it is that company wants you to renovate.” Louis didn’t see anything wrong with the pictures of the building that the company is paying Liam’s company to re-do, but it’s not his money nor his concern so he just sat there taking notes like a good assistant and avoided asking too many questions.

Liam chuckles at him again as Louis’ phone vibrates in his hand. He hesitates to flip it over in front of him. “Go ahead. It’s not like we’re at the office,” Liam shrugs.

He guesses Liam is right. Louis checks his phone and sees a couple of messages from Harry asking what he’d like for dinner and then for dessert because he’s in a bake-y sort of mood today. He’s always in a bake-y sort of mood because baking is his job and he loves it, but Louis doesn’t point that out to him. He’s not going to turn down delicious,  _ free _ food.

He doesn’t realize he’s grinning until he feels Liam’s eyes on him.

“Is that your flatmate again?” he asks knowingly.

“Er- Yeah, it is. How’d you know?

“Lucky guess,” he shrugs.

“He’s already at home trying to figure out what to cook for dinner. He wanted my opinion.”

“That’s nice. He seemed like a pretty good guy the other day when he came in. It was sweet of him to bring you lunch like that.”

It was. Louis hadn’t expected to see Harry until later that evening. Him showing up out of the blue that way was a very nice surprise. “Yeah, he’s pretty amazing. Best flatmate I’ve ever had.”

Technically, he’s the  _ only _ flatmate Louis’ ever had, which by default makes him the best.

“So, if I’m completely off the mark here or you think I’m being too unprofessional you can tell me to fuck off,” his boss says. “I won’t be offended but, the two of you…there’s something  _ more _ there, right?”

Louis feels every drop of blood in his face rush to his cheeks before he snorts and then cracks up laughing.

_ “What _ ?” Liam asks cracking an embarrassed sort of smile. “Is that funny?”

_ Yes _ . It’s hilarious because Harry asked the same thing about him. “When Harry was in the office he asked if there was something more between you and me.”

“Oh.  _ Oh _ ,” Liam says with bugged eyes. “Why would he think that about us?” Louis has no idea. It was pretty entertaining for him though. “Well, that’s- strange,” Liam says mostly to himself.

“Don’t worry. I basically told him he was dead wrong there _. _ ” _ Dead  _ wrong.

Louis smirks, laughing at his own morbid joke. Surprisingly, Liam catches it and chuckles a bit as well. Usually no one besides Harry will laugh at stuff like that. Everyone else finds it to be a sensitive topic.

“So, speaking of people who used to be dead,” Liam segues with a smile. “Everyone’s going to my sister’s house tomorrow for dinner. You should come. She’d really enjoy meeting you. She doesn’t know a lot of other people who’ve returned. I’m sure she’d love to have the chance to chat a while.”

“Yeah,” Louis nods. “I’d really like that too. Thank you, Liam.”

“You’re welcome anytime,” he smiles. “And so is Harry if you want to bring him along. You know, you never did tell me if there was something more going on there, though, sometimes I think  _ silence _ is just as good as an actual reply,” he smirks.

Louis bites down on his bottom lip to control the grin that spreads across his face. He was hoping his boss wouldn’t notice.

*

He brought dinner at Liam’s sister’s house up to Harry that night just to see if he was even interested in going. Harry is supportive of everything involving Louis and his new job so he quickly accepted the invite.

“Liam’s going to be there too, right?” he had asked very casually.

“Well, it’s his family, so I’d assume so,” Louis grinned. “Is that a problem?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, not at all. I was just curious,” he shrugged.

Louis grins to himself now as he fixes his hair in the mirror. It shouldn’t, but Harry’s mild little jealous streak makes him feel good and even a little appreciated, he thinks. Liam has no interest in him whatsoever and Harry probably doesn’t either, but it’s fun for Louis to entertain the thought of his flatmate wanting to keep him close all the time.

“Are you ready to go?” Louis asks once he migrates from his bedroom to the kitchen. Harry is just snapping the lid of his cupcake holder into place when he turns towards him with a smile.

“Yep. All done.”

He’s been working on those since he got home from work today. Louis can tell he took his time with frosting them because they’re beautiful. “It was really nice of you to bake those, Haz. Thank you.” Harry’s cheeks turn just the slightest shade of pink when Louis squeezes his forearm in appreciation.

“It was nothing,” he assures him. “And besides, we’re guests. I want to make a good impression.” Louis follows him out of their flat and wonders if it’s Liam or his sister that Harry’s showing off for.

All the effort that Harry made to appear unbothered by Louis’ attractive new boss inviting him over to have dinner with his family is wasted as soon as Liam answers the door with two beautiful women by his side. Louis nearly snorts from how quickly Harry’s eyebrows shoot up when Liam introduces one as his sister, Ruth and the other as his  _ girlfriend. _

“Did you know he had a girlfriend?” Harry whispers after they’ve been invited in.

“Nope. I had no idea he was even straight. It never came up,” Louis mumbles once he and Ruth leave the room to go find everyone else to come meet them.

“Oh,” Harry says with a furrowed brow. “Well, she seems really lovely,” he smiles. “I’m glad Liam invited her.”

Louis grins at how much happier his tone is in general now. He playfully elbows Louis in the arm and tells him to hurry up when Liam and his sister call them into the kitchen to meet the rest of the family. Louis grins as he tags along behind him, glad that Liam invited his girlfriend too.

*

Liam’s family, it turns out, is just as lovely as Liam has lead Louis to believe. Louis smiles wide as he and Harry shake hands and exchange pleasantries with Liam’s parents, Karen and Geoff. Then, they’re following Liam and his girlfriend out to the back garden –Harry leaving his cupcakes behind in the kitchen- where Liam’s other sister, the one Louis recognizes from the pictures Liam has shown him, and her family are currently laughing together, playing some kind of game.

“Nicola!” Liam calls her attention away with a fond smile.

She turns to their guests with a laugh still on her lips and Louis is in awe of how vibrant she seems, like not a day has passed where she wasn’t right here, where she belongs.

“One minute, Mia,” she turns to call to her daughter. “Our guests are here.”

Mia seems unperturbed by the pause in their game when her father gathers her in his arms, tickling her sides as he picks her up and carries her over.

“Louis, Harry. This is my sister Nicola, her husband Thomas, and this little bug,” Liam reaches over with one hand, pinching Mia’s cheek playfully, “is their daughter, Mia.”

“ _ Uncle Liam _ ,” Mia giggles, pushing his hand away.

“Guys, this is Louis Tomlinson, my new PA and his flatmate, Harry,” Liam finishes their introductions.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Thomas greets politely, reaching over to shake their hands one at a time while easily holding Mia up with his other arm.

“Likewise,” Harry returns.

“Louis is the one I told you about, Nic,” Liam states and Nicola’s eyes find Louis’, something like kinship twinkling back at him.

“Oh,” she says quietly, “You’re one of the returned?”

“Yeah,” Louis answers, timidly. It’s not really something people speak about a lot when it’s not in a support group type of setting. He glances at Harry to find his friend staring back at him purposefully and nodding minutely. “Harry is too,” he says, watching Harry’s lips quirk up in approval before turning back to her.

“I didn’t know that,” Liam says, brow scrunched and lips puckered into a pout like he’s mildly offended Louis hadn’t divulged the information to him first.

“Well, I mean, it’s a bit like outing someone, isn’t it? I wouldn’t have said anything about Harry’s status without getting his consent first,” Louis expresses, feeling Harry’s knuckles bump his own, his shoulder pressing against Louis’ in what he guesses is a show of solidarity.

“It’s so nice to meet you both,” Nicola tells them with a thoughtful smile. “I know there are quite a few of us but I don’t think I’ve actually met any before.”

Before any more can be said, Liam’s father hollers that the food is ready, which is a lucky thing because Louis is starving.

Conversation flows easily during their meal, Louis and Harry end up fitting in rather nicely with the Payne family. Harry seems happier chatting with Liam now that his girlfriend is beside him and he seems to accept that Liam isn’t a predator trying to sneak his way into Louis’ bed. It’s kind of funny actually.

They don’t talk about their resurrection from the dead at all and it feels to Louis like everyone else is purposely avoiding it. As nice as it is, it feels like there’s an elephant in the room, munching on some peanuts right next to them.

After dinner, while Liam helps his mum do the washing up and everyone else retires to the living room to watch some telly, Louis, Harry and Nicola slip back outside.

“It really is so nice to meet some people who’ve been where I’ve been,” she says to break the ice as she sits on a patio chair, “who know how difficult it is to be back.”

“Oh,” Louis says, confused by her statement as he and Harry sit across from her. “Liam made it sound like everything went rather smoothly when you came back.”

“Lou, maybe we shouldn’t-”

Nicola quickly cuts off Harry’s gentle protest. “No, it’s okay,” she insists. “I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this stuff. It’ll be nice to get it off my chest.”

Harry and Louis turn to each other with knowing looks. Nicola doesn’t miss it, grinning wistfully at the two of them.

“You two are so lucky to have each other,” she says.

“Oh, we’re not-”

“I know-”

They both stop speaking at the same time, turning to look at each other again. Harry’s eyes are wide, staring at Louis like he’s said something truly unexpected, meanwhile Louis ducks his head, avoiding Harry’s gaze as his cheeks flame. He should have caught onto what Nicola was suggesting about them and made a denial like Harry had started to. But for once, he wasn’t thinking about what he didn’t have due to his current circumstances. If he hadn’t died and come back, Louis would probably have never met his curly, far too lovable flatmate. He’d probably still be buying weed at midnight in Hyde Park, going absolutely nowhere with his life. But Harry makes him want to be better, makes Louis want to accomplish things and be worthy of the friendship and care that Harry so freely offers. That’s what he’d been thinking of, not the crush he shouldn’t have but that he can’t stop nurturing on the other boy.

Nicola clears her throat, covering her mouth with a hand. “Um, I just meant that you have a friend to lean on about this,” she says, obviously trying to diffuse the awkwardness.

“Of course,” Harry concedes, turning back to her.

“I mean,” she continues, as though changing the subject is key to ridding themselves of the uncomfortable tension, “I don’t want to seem ungrateful. I am so happy that my family was so ready to accept me back when I returned. But… it was a bit of a shock. When I’d gone, Mia was just a baby. And then I come back, and she’s this beautiful little girl that I don’t recognize. She didn’t know me either and it’s just kind of painful realizing all the parts of her life I’ve missed out on.”

“I know what you mean,” Louis says, grateful to be back on solid footing even though it  _ is _ painful to think about these things. Changing the subject was a good idea. “My youngest sisters were four when I died. Now they’re ten and they’re so smart and I wasn’t there to help them with their homework the way I was with the others, with Fiz and Lottie. I didn’t influence anything in Daisy and Phoebe’s lives because I wasn’t there for it.”

Nicola nods. “ _ Yes _ ,” she says placing a hand on Louis’ knee, like Louis understands her issues so completely.

“I can’t quite relate,” Harry mutters, curls hanging down and obscuring their view of his face as he looks down at the ground. “I mean, I missed my sister’s wedding, but she’s older than me, so I wasn’t really influencing her life all that much anyway, I guess.”

Louis sways a bit and lets his shoulder lightly tap his friend’s, pulling Harry’s gaze up to his. “I’m sure you had some influence, Curly,” Louis assures him gently. “Lottie is responsible for my love of boybands, and Fiz made me not hate science quite so much when we built her volcano for school in year four.”

Nicola shrugs with a scrunch of her nose. “If it weren’t for Liam being born and mum and dad needing me to babysit all the time, I wouldn’t be the amazing cook I am today.”

Harry is grinning at both of them like he knows that they’re just trying to humor him, make him feel like he belongs. Because that’s an important factor for all of them, the sense that they belong somewhere in a world that they thought was done with them.

“See?” Louis asks with a grin, swaying into Harry’s side again.

“Yeah,” Harry laughs softly. “Maybe.”

Louis suddenly sits up straight, a realization coming to him. “You know, this is probably the first time I’ve talked about the unpleasant parts of coming back when it hasn’t made me feel terrible about myself.”

“Yeah,” Nicola agrees. “Me too. Of course, we try not to talk about it around Mia too much, and Thomas doesn’t really like to think about it, so I haven’t had much chance before now. It’s so hard talking about these things to your family when they’re just glad to have you back. You don’t want them to think you’re unhappy to be with them again, you know?”

“Yes-”

“Exactly-”

Harry and Louis speak at the same time again but this time doesn’t come with an awkward pause after. No embarrassment or anything either. Only smiles and the feeling of being understood.

“Maybe we  _ should  _ start our own support group,” Louis jokes, reminding Harry of their very first conversation and relishing in the dimpled grin he receives in response.

“Could we?” Nicola asks, the seriousness of her tone causing both of them to turn to her. “I think that would be wonderful.”

Harry turns to Louis with a shrug and look that says ‘I’m up for it if you are’. And well, Louis’ pretty much up for anything that involves Harry and maybe finding a way to feel good about himself.

“I don’t see why not,” Louis agrees. He might have to do some research if this goes beyond the three of them and the Payne’s back garden but it couldn’t hurt, right?

“Brain Eater’s Anonymous?” Harry suggests with a smirk for Louis’ benefit.

“Good heavens, no,” Nicola grimaces at the suggestion, making Louis wonder for a second if maybe this isn’t going to be as easy as he’d thought. But then she grins and there’s a spark of amusement in her eyes as she suggests, “Necrotics Anonymous?”

“Oh my goodness, there are two of them,” Louis groans playfully, letting his head fall into his hands. He shakes his head as Nicola and Harry both laugh at him, the sound of two hands slapping ringing through the evening air. He sighs, faux resignation on his face as he declares, “I’ll get started on our badges: ‘Formerly deceased. Ask me how!’”

It’s silly and fun and they spend the next half hour going over plans for a group that sounds fake but Louis is pretty sure they’re actually all really serious about. And for once, it feels like his life might be going exactly how it’s supposed to.

*

“That was a lot of fun. I’m really glad we got to do that,” Harry beams. He’s been wearing that same bright smile for most of the night. It nearly took over his whole face after dinner when everybody dug into the cupcakes and declared him the single best person on the planet.

Louis rolls his eyes from his side of the cab. “You’re only saying that because Liam’s family wants to adopt you for your baking skills,” he teases.

“You’re not wrong,” Harry sighs aloud, looking overly proud of himself. “I  _ do  _ enjoy endless praise. I thrive on it really.”

Louis playfully flicks him in the ear simply because he likes the overconfident smirk on his face. “Thrive on  _ that _ .”

Harry’s expression turns miffed before he narrows his eyes at Louis and launches a full out attack on his stomach and ribcage with his freakishly quick fingers. Louis accidentally kicks the passenger’s seat ahead of him as he flails to get away, but there’s nowhere to go. His laughter fills the small space of the car and Harry seems absolutely thrilled watching him squirm beneath the passing streetlights.

“You fucking animal,” Louis laughs once Harry takes pity on him and stops the assault. He tries to sound upset, but it’s impossible. “I can’t take you anywhere. I’m never inviting you out with me again.” Even as Louis says it, he knows it isn’t even remotely true. Having Harry by his side tonight was amazing. He liked having someone he trusts there with him for support and he enjoyed the way Harry seemed to need him sometimes too. Everyone there kept looking between them like there was some big, unspoken  _ thing _ going on. Being linked with Harry that way, even if it was just in theory was probably Louis’ favorite part of the night.

“Yes, you will. You love having me around.”

Harry says it with a shitload of confidence that Louis wouldn’t dare dispute. He’d gladly take Harry with him anywhere.

*

It has been weeks since Louis last spoke to his mother and even longer since they’ve seen each other in person as she so helpfully informs him over a text a couple of days later. These days, Louis spends most of his time at work with Liam or getting up to God knows what at home with Harry. He hadn’t even realized that he kind of let his family slip off of his radar, so when his mother calls him on Friday night and asks to see him, Louis immediately agrees.

“They’ll be here soon,” Louis says, pushing up on his toes to peek over at Harry’s shoulder at whatever secret thing he’s cooking.

“Really? I never would’ve guessed. I mean, you’ve only told me about fifty-nine times in the last half hour,” he grins. He swats Louis’ hand away when he tries to lift the lid of one of the boiling pots on top of the stove. “I believe  _ I _ am the chef in this kitchen. Don’t you have something else you should be doing besides trying to steal my job?”

No. Louis has already busied himself with getting dressed, straightening up the flat, and then straightening up the flat  _ again _ in case he missed something the first time. He has nothing to do now except wait for his family to get here….and annoy Harry of course, but that’s a given.

“Why don’t you delegate and give me a job to do. I can do kitchen things.”

“Okay, then. I hereby command that you stop worrying so much about your family visiting because there’s nothing to worry about. Your job is to sit back and relax because everything is going to be perfect.”

Louis doesn’t think he can do that. It’s just- he hasn’t seen them in so long.

Things were so weird at his house after he came back. He remembers feeling so out of place amongst the people he had known his entire life. At the time, moving in with Harry was like a bit of an escape. He had been running from his problems at home and thankfully the warmest and most accepting pair of arms in the world were here to welcome him.

A series of quick knocks on the door makes Louis turn his head in that direction. He feels a small nudge against his side. When he turns he sees Harry’s kind smile, his eyes filled with enough silent encouragement to remind Louis that everything is going to be okay. “Go on,” he says. “They’re probably just as anxious to see you too.”

It’s all the push Louis needs to sprint for the door. His heart is racing a bit when he wrenches it open, and then his heart overflows with love because his family looks so genuinely happy to see him.

“We’ve missed you so much!” his mother says, hugging Louis close to her like it’s been years instead of just a few months. Each of his siblings hugs him without fear. Even the babies who are getting so big that they don’t even look like babies anymore are less hesitant and wary of him. Their eyes are dry when he kisses their cheeks and they seem completely comfortable balanced on his hips. He can hardly believe it.

“Something sure smells amazing,” his mother comments as everyone piles into the flat.

“Oh. Er-  Thanks, but that’s all thanks to Harry actually.”

“Well, obviously,” his eldest sister smirks as she takes off her jacket. “You never could cook, even  _ before _ you died. Why would that change?”

The room goes quiet as everyone turns to watch Louis’ reaction. They all seem a bit shocked when the two of them start laughing. While living at home, his family wouldn’t even mention words associated with death or dying around him let alone make a fucking joke about it from fear of…well, Louis doesn’t really know what they were scared of. Perhaps they thought it insensitive or rude, but Louis has always just found morbidity of that nature to be hilarious. Maybe this time apart really has helped them all settle into Louis being back instead of walking on eggshells like he may crack at any moment. Maybe him being around Harry, the most morbidly funny person that he knows, has rubbed off on him, making him feel just a bit more like his old self.

*

Louis has no idea what he was worried about when dinner is over and he and his mother are cleaning up while Harry and his siblings are busy voting for which movie they all want to watch.

Louis had been genuinely concerned about his family and how they’d react to him after essentially disappearing from their lives again, but he was also anxious about how they’d react to Harry. Both fears were stupid he now realizes. His family loves him and they love Harry too. This night honestly couldn’t have gone any better.

“You’re happy.”

His brow furrows at his mother’s words. She hands him another plate and Louis put it away with a small chuckle. “Er- yeah. I guess so.”

“It wasn’t a question,” she grins. “It’s the truth. You are happy here. So much more than you ever were at home.”

Louis’ smile fades a bit around the edges, but it stays on his face. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“No, baby. Of course not. You being happy here with Harry is a  _ great  _ thing; a  _ wonderful  _ thing. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. Even before you died.”

Louis hasn’t heard her use that word since he returned. He likes that she isn’t afraid of it anymore.

It grows silent between them and Louis grins listening to Harry and his siblings sing the intro song to some movie that he’s pretty sure Harry’s too fucking old to be watching. His mother catches him and grins to herself as she hands him another dry plate to put away.

“I had come here tonight because I missed you, but I was also kind of hoping to be able to convince you to come home now that we’re all in a much better place. Though something tells me that won’t be happening anytime soon,” she laughs.

Louis raises an eyebrow at her. He has no intention of going back home, though he wouldn’t exactly rule it out like she obviously has. He’ll do whatever’s necessary if his family needs him. “Why do you say that, mum?”

She rolls her eyes like it should be obvious. “With the way you two look at each other? We’re all lucky to have even been spared a glance between the two of you tonight.” She doesn’t sound angry. She sounds the exact opposite actually; super and incredibly happy for him. “So,  _ are _ you interested in coming back home?” she asks with a knowing grin that says she already knows the answer to that.

“Nope,” Louis smirks. “Not at chance.”

“Didn’t think so,” she laughs.

He and Harry walk his family to the door equipped with enough extra cookies from dessert to last through the next decade. Every single one of them baked courtesy of the tall boy by his side of course.

Louis waves his family goodbye with the promise to start making time to see them all at least once per week either here at the flat or over at their house. Harry closes the door behind them with a giant sigh, and an even bigger smile on his face because they each made him promise to come with Louis whenever he visits.

“You look exhausted,” Louis laughs, watching as Harry leans back against the door.

“Ugh, I am. Cooking for nine is hard work, but I think all of that singing I did with your sisters is what did me in,” he jokes.

Louis fondly rolls his eyes at the singing bit, but he doesn’t disagree with the rest of it. He can’t believe Harry offered to do all of that for them. Louis didn’t even have to ask. He simply mentioned to Harry that his family would be coming over and he immediately started listing off all the fun recipes he thought his siblings would enjoy. He’s always doing things like that. He’s full of thoughtfulness and kindness in a world that sometimes treats them as if they aren’t worthy of having either.

He doesn’t know why he feels so brave all of a sudden, but Harry just looks so pretty and Louis  _ does  _ see the way that Harry looks at him sometimes. Louis recognizes it because he’s sure his eyes look just as bright whenever he looks at Harry. They have to, that’s the only explanation for the magnetic energy he feels between them every day.

He walks forward until his feet fit beside Harry’s on either side. He hears Harry’s breathing stop when Louis rests a palm against his chest to steady himself before connecting their lips. Louis’ heart is pounding so hard that he can hear it thudding in his ears, fast and loud and with so much force that he feels a little short of breath as well. Having Harry’s tongue sliding against his along with his strong fingers against his jawline wakes Louis’ veins, sending hundreds of small sparks shooting through his body until he’s certain that he’s never felt so alive.

He tries to pull back once his chest begins to protest the lack of air being pulled into it, but Harry makes a sound of protest that immediately pulls Louis back in. He stays right where Harry so clearly wants him, only slowing their kiss when Harry starts to.

Louis is definitely a little dazed when they part. He bites down on his face-splitting grin, attempting to hide just how unbelievably amazing that was for him, but he’s sure Harry can still tell.

“So, um...thanks for cooking. And, for like…baking and stuff?” And for being so great. And for being his best friend. And for being  _ everything _ really Louis thinks, wondering when he started thanking people by shoving his tongue into their mouths.

Louis clears his throat when Harry does nothing but slowly blink at him in awe.

“Y-Yeah, Lou,” he breathes out. “Of course…don’t mention it.” His green eyes drop down to Louis’ lips again, need burning behind them like a flame, but Louis forces himself to walk away.  _ Far _ away because if he stays there any longer he’s going to end up thanking Harry with way more than just a kiss.

*

Louis wakes in the morning a little groggier than usual. He didn’t get a lot of sleep but, for once, it was because he was too busy being deliriously happy. Excitement and desire thrumming through his veins and making his skin tingle with goosebumps as he relived that kiss in his mind again and again. He has no idea what’s going to happen now between him and Harry but he’s not afraid of it anymore. In fact, he can’t wait to find out. He rushes through his morning routine, idly thinking he should probably be spending  _ more _ time beautifying himself rather than less but Harry’s seen him at his worst and he’d still held Louis close last night. He’d still kissed him back.

Louis can already smell something heavenly cooking in the kitchen as he rinses out his mouth and puts his toothbrush up. He wipes his mouth and smiles at himself in the mirror, quickly brushing his fringe to the side before pulling open the door and rushing to the kitchen.

He pauses in the doorway, eyes glued to the bare skin of Harry’s back as Harry hums along to the radio, shimmying his hips as he adjusts some bacon in his frying pan. Louis nearly chokes on his saliva, having to clear his throat and drawing Harry’s smile his way.

“Morning, Lou,” Harry greets him, eyes bright with contentment.

“Morning,” Louis repeats, staring dumbly. Of course, he’s seen Harry topless before. He’s seen Harry sitting around in just his pants plenty of times because Harry doesn’t like to wear clothes unless he absolutely has to, but all of those were times when Louis was aware that he had to keep his hands to himself. But now, since that kiss, Louis’ brain is running wild with the possibilities of what he might be allowed to do to a semi-naked Harry.

“Lou?”

Harry calling his name breaks Louis from his disastrous train of thought. Thinking about Harry like that will only lead to madness until Louis figures out exactly what that kiss means for their future, like whether or not the fact that they’ve kissed means they have a future.

“Yeah?” Louis finally has the presence of mind to answer, and when he looks he sees Harry staring at him with a concerned expression on his face.

“Are you alright?” Harry asks.

“Yeah, absolutely,” Louis breathes, smiling at Harry to prove it. He moves to grab the both of them some plates from the cupboard, letting his fingers graze over Harry’s back as he passes, just like he’d normally do. This time, though, he feels Harry shiver under his touch. Hears the way his breath catches. Louis smirks to himself and leaves the plates next to the stove, moving next to make them some tea.

The teacups are in the cupboard above Harry’s head. He could ask Harry for them and Harry would pull them down without comment or complaint. Louis  _ could _ . But instead he steps up behind the other man, resting his right hand on Harry’s hip to keep himself steady as he reaches overhead with the other to get the teacups down himself.

“Sorry,” he says, his breath hitting Harry’s shoulder, his front pressed to Harry’s back.

Harry’s whole body stiffens in place and for a second Louis wonders if he’s gone too far, but he slowly relaxes again, reaching up with one hand to help anyway. He pulls down the second cup and passes it to Louis over his shoulder without a word.

“Thanks,” Louis removes the hand on Harry’s hip to accept it, and moves away quickly. Maybe he just startled Harry. Or maybe he crossed a line. His cheeks burn a bit and he bites his bottom lip as he busies himself with the tea. He hears Harry moving around behind him but doesn’t look, too worried he’s screwed everything up somehow.

But then he feels Harry up against his back, one arm reaching around Louis to grab another plate from the cupboard.

“Sorry,” Harry murmurs right in his ear, and Louis can hear his smile in the tone of his voice. And then, just before Harry shifts his position to move back to the stove, Louis swears he feels Harry’s hand graze over his bum.

Louis makes a weird sort of squealing noise in the back of his throat in surprise. He hears a snort come from the general area where Harry’s standing, like he’s trying not to laugh.  _ Well _ , two can play that game.

“Hey, Haz,” Louis calls flipping his fringe, looking over at his flatmate, letting all the hunger he currently feels take over his features.

“Yes?” Harry asks, laughter in the timber of his voice, as he plates the bacon and gets started on the eggs.

Louis waits until Harry turns to look at him, sees his eyes widen at the smolder in Louis’ gaze. Louis licks his lips and sees Harry’s gaze drop to them and trace the movement.

“How do you want it?” Louis asks, voice breathy with seduction.

Harry swallows hard, spatula gripped tightly in his hand. “W-want what?”

Louis slowly stalks towards him, reaching up to trace the line of his jaw with his fingers. “Your tea, Harry,” he answers, slapping the other man lightly on the cheek.

Harry blinks. “Oh,” he mutters, cheeks going pink as Louis chuckles at him.

Louis drops his hands from Harry’s face, smile wide as he turns to go back to the tea but Harry catches his wrist and pulls him back.

“Such a bloody tease,” Harry grins at Louis, pulling him into his arms.

“Why, whatever do you mean, Hazza?” Louis laughs, going easily and grasping Harry’s biceps.

“You know exactly what I mean,” Harry answers, ducking his head and resting his forehead against Louis’.

Their lips are so close to touching.

“The eggs are burning,” Louis mumbles, half-hoping Harry won’t care, won’t pull away from him.

Harry merely reaches over and turns off the hob, eyes never leaving Louis’ face. “Is this okay?” he asks quietly, his lips a whisper over Louis’.

“More than,” Louis answers, lifting his chin, closing that last miniscule bit of distance between them.

“Mmmm,” Harry hums into the kiss, hands splayed wide on the small of Louis’ back, pulling him in hungrily.

Somehow, even with all the things that are wrong in the moment – the cold kitchen floor against Louis’ bare feet, the scent of burnt eggs pervading the air – this kiss is just as perfect as the last. More so. Because this time, Louis knows going into it that Harry wants it, too. There’s no need to be brave this time as Harry’s tongue delves into Louis’ mouth, stroking tenderly against Louis’ own. There’s only desire and surrender here.  _ Magic. _ And Louis wonders when magic became something he believed in. He guesses that, resurrection from the dead aside, it was probably sometime around the time the universe brought Harry Styles into his life.

*

Louis’ heart skips a beat a few days later when someone taps a playful rhythm against the door of the office.

He looks up from the email he was just was proofreading for Liam with very high hopes of who it could be. Every one of them is met and then exceeded when Harry walks in a beat later with flour from work still dusted all over his front.

“Hey, there,” he grins. “Busy?”

“Uh…” Louis cuts his eyes over to his boss’ office door. Sure, Louis has things to do. He has lots of things to do really, but it’s not like a quick break will kill him. You know,  _ again _ . “Nope. Come on in. Not busy at all,” Louis grins back. “ _ Hungry _ is more like it.”

“Good. That’s just what I was hoping to hear,” Harry says as he extends the hand he’s been hiding behind his back since he walked in, revealing a to-go bag from the burger place near their flat that Louis frequents at least once per week. “I brought you lunch. Hope you don’t mind?”

Mind? Louis could kiss him. Most conversations he has with Harry seem to end up that way now. Actually, the majority of interactions they share these days seem to end with Louis wanting to thank him with his mouth. This morning all Harry had to do was look at him a beat too long after cooking him breakfast to have Louis panting down his throat.

“It was really nice of you to think of me. Thanks, mate.”

“ _ Mate _ ?” Harry grins, leaning over Louis’ desk to place his lunch down in front of him. “Is that  _ really _ the word you’re looking for?”

Louis feels his skin tingle at the unsubtle insinuation. Harry’s bottom lip glistens after he licks over it and Louis’ eyes track every movement.

“What? Are you too good for mate now?” Louis asks with a teasing lilt to his voice.

“Oh, no. I like the nickname just fine,” he smirks, now just mere inches away from kissing him. Louis’ heartbeat quickens from how incredibly close he is. “I just don’t think it’s very accurate anymore given our recent turn of events.”

Louis chases the feeling of Harry’s breath hitting his lips, standing up from his seat to close the small distance between them. Harry hums into the kiss when their mouths meet, holding Louis’ face in his hands like he may move away. Louis isn’t going anywhere, eagerly answering every brush of Harry’s tongue with one of his own until a door creaks open from behind them.

For a split second, Louis almost forgoes turning around to see who has just joined them, but then he hears the polite clearing of a throat followed by the familiar voice of his boss who would probably really like to have the documents he asked Louis to print off twenty minutes ago.

He and Harry break apart in an instant once they remember where the hell they are. Louis winces when his boss comes over and wordlessly picks up the stack of fresh contracts that Louis should’ve brought him the moment they were finished. To Louis’ surprise, he says nothing about them, turning to his roommate instead.

“Harry! I didn’t know you were here, mate. It’s always a pleasure. I’m sure Louis here would agree,” his boss teases.

Disappearing into a giant hole in the floor would be so nice at a time like this, Louis thinks.

“Sorry,” Louis winces again, hoping his boss knows he didn’t exactly  _ plan _ on openly snogging his roommate in the middle of his office. It just kind of happened. Liam waves off his apology as he retreats back into his office.

“Oh, no, don’t apologize,” his boss laughs. “You two enjoy your lunch breaks. Louis, come to my office when you’re finished though. I do want to talk to you about some things.”

Liam shuts his door behind him and Louis’ stomach makes a nervous turn at the sound of it.

“Shit, Lou. I didn’t mean to cause problems for you at work. Do you think you’re in trouble?” Harry asks. He looks just as nervous as Louis feels.

“I have no idea. Hopefully not,” Louis sighs. He and Liam are pretty close friends at this point, but he’s still Louis’ boss first and foremost. He’s supposed to be working right now, not snogging his… friend? Mate? Roommate? Whatever the hell Harry is to him now. Harry’s lips are turned up into a sympathetic grin that looks more adorable than sorry.

“I should go before I cause any more damage. I need to get back to work anyway. See you at home?”

Louis nods in solemn agreement even though he’d very much like for Harry to stay. Not even for the kissing part. Just for the pleasure of his company, but, it’s the middle of the day and Harry has work to do just like him. It’ll have to wait.

Louis grabs his burger which is probably cold by now, but before he can retake his seat behind his desk Harry catches his lips in another long kiss. They just got caught in this same predicament not even five minutes ago, but this kiss is so much softer. It’s nowhere near as desperate as the one they shared as a hello after being apart all day. This kiss feels more like a placeholder; like a promise for them to pick back up whenever they’re alone, and as far as Louis knows, Harry’s yet to break a promise.

“I’ve got to get going, but I’ll see you at home,” Harry whispers once he pulls back. Louis dazedly watches him walk away until he reaches the door.

“Okay.” Louis says, already counting down the hours until work is over. “And you said that already. That you’ll see me at home,” Louis points out.

Harry offers him a shy smile in response. “I guess I just like the way it sounds,” he shrugs. Louis can’t focus on anything for the duration of his lunch break except Harry and how he feels more like home than anywhere else in this world.

Louis knows he has to face Liam once he’s eaten his cold burger, but he was really hoping to avoid doing so. Hiding isn’t really an option considering Liam is just inside of his office. Louis knocks twice before his boss invites him in. He sits down in the empty chair in front of his desk with no other plan than to grovel and hope for the best.

“Liam, I am so  _ so  _ sorry about earlier. I don’t know what Haz and I were thinking, but it’ll never ever happen again. You have my word,” he promises.

“I wasn’t looking for an apology,” Liam chuckles, “But okay. Whatever makes you feel better.” Louis frowns at the way his boss chuckles again. “I guess I should’ve made this clear, but I actually wanted to talk to you about a meeting someone just scheduled for tomorrow. I’m sending you by yourself because I’ll already be with another client and tomorrow is the only time this other person has available. Are you comfortable with that?”

Oh. So maybe he’s  _ not _ being fired for being unprofessional. Liam’s smirking at him now. Okay, Louis’ definitely sure he isn’t being fired.

“Yeah, Liam, of course. I can take care of everything you need with your client,” Louis says after a relieved sigh. “God, Li. I thought I was in trouble for earlier,” he laughs. “I thought that’s what you wanted to ‘talk’ to me about.”

Liam rolls his eyes at him. “Louis, you and I have two relationships. The first is strictly professional where I call you into my office to talk about work, the other is me being a nosey, over-invested friend in which I call you into my office to gossip about you and Harry finally realizing that you’re crazy about one another. I breezed right on through the business part of this conversation so we could get to the good stuff. If you don’t mind gossiping that is,” Liam kindly tacks on.

Liam has been trying to drag little pieces of information out of him about Harry for months.

“I don’t know where to even begin,” Louis admits. “I think I’ve always known that I like Harry a little more than is considered normal. I rely on him. For a long time, he was my only friend after I returned. He means so much to me. I don’t know when exactly those platonic feelings shifted into something else.” It happened so quickly that Louis didn’t even notice there was a change going on.

“I could tell there was something more than just friendship there from the moment I first saw you two together.”

“You mean when Harry thought there was something more going on between  _ us _ ,” Louis smirks.

Liam rolls his eyes at that, but his grin doesn’t fade. “I’m happy for you, Louis. For both of you. After everything you two have been through, you deserve every happiness. Especially if it’s with each other.”

Harry does make him happy. Happier than he’s ever been.

“I like him a lot. Like, more than he probably even knows, a lot,” he smiles, only mildly embarrassed to admit it. Louis spends most of his time praying for Harry to kiss him or even just acknowledge him in some small way. Seeing Harry walk through that door today for no other reason than him wanting to see Louis too was like a shot of adrenaline straight into his bloodstream.

“I’m pretty sure he knows,” Liam assures him. “And trust me, with the way he looks at you, Louis, the feeling is mutual.”

Louis doesn’t doubt it. It’s nice to know that someone’s heart beats a little faster whenever he’s near. It’s even better to know that someone is also his best friend.

*

“Are you almost ready, Lou?” Harry calls from the bathroom where he’s currently taming his curls. Louis prefers them a bit untamed but they’re about to head out to meet up with Nicola for their first trial at this do-it-yourself support group they’ve come up with, so maybe he won’t mess it up when Harry is done. Possibly. Probably.

“Not really,” Louis calls as he walks, shirtless to the bathroom door. He leans against the doorjamb with his hands hidden behind his back and watches Harry coyly in the mirror until his flatmate turns to him. “Can’t find a decent shirt to wear.”

Harry’s eyes rake over his naked torso, desire making itself evident in the shine of them and the way he bites his lip. A glance at Louis’ face and Harry’s lips quirk like he knows what Louis’ up to. “You can wear one of mine, I suppose.”

Louis grins. Success. “What a wonderful idea, Haz! Don’t know why I didn’t think of it.” Pulling his hands from behind his back, he holds up one of Harry’s jumpers. It’s a pretty lilac colour and Harry shakes his head in amusement when he sees it. “What do you think of this one?” Louis asks, batting his lashes innocently at him.

Harry steps closer and gently pulls the jumper from Louis’ hands. “I think you’ll look lovely,” he smiles, leaning in to press a quick kiss to Louis’ lips before he pulls the jumper over his head, leaving it sitting there obscuring Louis’ face. “See? Perfect,” Harry laughs.

“You think you’re cute,” Louis grumbles, pulling it down so that he can see and fighting to get his arms in the right place.

“I have it on good authority,” Harry agrees, finally reaching out to help his pouting flatmate. “In fact, my boyfriend told me over breakfast just this morning that I was the cutest thing he’d ever seen.”

Louis stills, hands curled in the fabric of the jumper as Harry’s words register. “Boyfriend?” He asks, the wind knocked out of him from the sentiment. His heart thumps frantically in his chest. Is he Harry’s boyfriend?

The mirth drains from Harry’s expression and all that’s left suddenly is caution. He studies Louis’ face before answering. “That  _ is _ where this was going. Right, Lou?”

He sounds so unsure of himself, of  _ them _ , and Louis hates that he made Harry question his commitment to this thing that they’ve been building. “ _ God, yes _ ,” Louis responds, raising his arms to wrap them around Harry’s neck. “Please and thank you,” Louis breathes, something light and hopeful bursting within him as Harry’s beautiful smile takes over his face again.

“Good,” Harry answers, cupping Louis’ jaw in one massive hand and capturing Louis’ mouth in a passionate kiss. Louis loves that they’re like this. Ever since that invisible barrier between ‘friends’ and ‘more’ has vanished, they both seem to have a hard time keeping their hands off of each other. And now ‘more’ equals ‘boyfriends’. Louis smiles against Harry’s lips until Harry’s tongue draws him deeper into their kiss again.

“What about Nicola?” Louis finally mumbles between kisses.

“She’s not my type,” Harry deadpans, delving back in to taste Louis again.

Louis groans. He doesn’t want to stop this but they do have a prior engagement with their friend – who also happens to be  _ his boss’ _ sister. “She’s waiting for us, babe.”

Harry whines a bit but does pull away from Louis, appearing to force himself to take a step back and keep his hands to himself. His eyes trail over Louis in that purple jumper regretfully, like he longs to rip it off again. “Hhgn,” he whimpers once more. “Let’s go,” he says suddenly, brushing past Louis as he walks out of the bathroom.

Louis watches his back as he stalks quickly to the living room and has to bite back a laugh. “Oh, but. I think maybe I should change,” Louis calls, trying really hard to keep a straight face as he looks down at what he’s wearing. “I might get hot in this.”

Harry twists to glare at him playfully. “Don’t you  _ dare _ .”

“I’ll only be a moment,” Louis promises, already pulling the jumper up to show off the tan skin of his tummy. He hears Harry moving before he feels hands capture his arms, trapping them in the jumper just as he was lifting it over his head. He can see nothing past the weave of the material. “Harry?”

“You’re a menace,” Harry tells him, and he wonders if he’s supposed to be able to hear the absolute fond in Harry’s words. He feels Harry shift so that he’s holding both of Louis’ wrists in one hand and then the material is tugged out of the way of his mouth, only for his lips to be covered again by Harry’s. “My favorite menace,” he says with a dreamy quality to his tone and then the jumper is being pulled back down onto Louis’ torso. “You’re wearing that,” Harry tells him sternly, “and we’re leaving now.”

He takes Louis’ hand, interlacing their fingers and tugs him out the door. And really, Louis got what he wanted, so he doesn’t argue.

*

Harry drops Louis’ hand to open the door of the small emptied shop Nicola finagled for them to use as their meeting spot.

“Hey!” Nicola greets them enthusiastically, hopping up from the chair she’d been sitting on to hug them both. “I almost thought you’d stood me up.”

“Sorry we’re late,” Louis says, hearing an echo of Harry’s voice as he says the same thing in near unison. They glance at each other and Harry bites his lips to hold back an embarrassed smile.

Nicola stops before she reaches them and narrows her eyes as she studies them, maybe taking in how close they’re standing. Louis can feel Harry’s fingers brushing the backs of his and he wonders if it’s as much a struggle for Harry not to tangle their fingers together as it is for him.

Or maybe she’s noticing both of their not-quite smiles. Louis isn’t sure if the same is true for him, but Harry’s is one that says he’s got a secret he’s dying to spill. Louis grins deeper, warm in the knowledge that Harry is apparently so proud of them that he’s struggling not to blurt it out right now.

“Something’s different with you two,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest and waiting for an explanation.

Harry looks at Louis again, eyes questioning him, begging “can I tell her?”

Louis answers by giving in to the desire in his fingertips, taking Harry’s hand in his again.

“Um, well, you remember how you thought we were a couple the first time we met?” Harry asks and Nicola’s eyes widen excitedly.

“You’re together now?” She breaks in, not waiting for an answer before she’s squealing in happiness for them and engulfing them each in a hug. “I  _ knew _ there was something between the two of you.”

“Liam never said anything?” Louis asks.

“Well, it’s not like we live together,” Nicola answers. “We only have dinner twice a week and the occasional phone call. Don’t get me wrong,  _ the indomitable Louis Tomlinson _ is often a topic of conversation but only so that he can praise how well you’re doing at your job and marvel at how someone else didn’t snatch you up when they had the chance.”

“ _ I’ve _ snatched him up,” Harry brags, squeezing Louis’ fingers lightly and making Louis chuckle with fondness.

Louis feels so light right now, everything is going well in his life. He has a boss who appreciates him, a best friend/boyfriend who adores him, new friends who are supportive of him, and a family that clearly loves him. He may have always had the family bit but the clarity is new. And with everything he’s got now, he can pinpoint the one thing that’s lead him to all of it, that’s helped him rebuild his life into something he can be proud of.  _ Harry. _ If it weren’t for Harry, there’s no telling where Louis would be right now. He looks over at Harry, who’s smiling back at him, and feels so fucking grateful for him. He bounces up on his tiptoes to kiss Harry’s mouth quickly, briefly.

“What was that for?” Harry asks, dimples indenting his cheeks, when Louis drops back down onto his feet.

Louis shrugs, suddenly feeling a bit emotional. He looks around the room they’re in to distract himself. It’s just one smallish space, wood paneled walls, cheap linoleum tiled floor. Uncomfortable-looking chairs are in lines on either side of the room with an empty aisle between them. And up at the front of the room is a podium.

“Oh,” Nicola looks around with him, a small frown on her face. “It doubles as a church and an AA meeting place usually but I talked my friend who pays the rent into letting us use it on Thursdays when nothing else is scheduled. I mean, I know there’s not enough of us yet to need it, but,” she shrugs looking at them hopefully, “it’s good to be prepared, yeah?”

“Absolutely,” Harry answers, rolling with her optimism. “This place is great, Nicola.”

Louis doesn’t know that he’d call it  _ great _ but it is a good idea to have the space on hand if they decide meeting up like this is helpful enough include more people in it.

“Shall we sit?” Louis asks, letting go of Harry’s hand long enough to drag a few chairs into a sad little circle. Harry and Nicola move to join him when he sits. Only once they’re both in their dreadful folding chairs does Louis clear his throat. “Hi, my name is Louis.”

“Hi, Louis,” Harry and Nicola say in unison, playing along jovially.

“It’s been …three days since my last craving for brains,” Louis announces.

Harry snorts.

Nicola shakes her head with a sigh. “Be serious,” she slaps Louis’ knee with a laugh.

“Actually,” Louis says, actually growing serious. “Things have been really good lately,” he grins, glancing at Harry. “ _ Really _ good.”

Harry’s gaze on him feels warm, all encompassing. “Same,” Harry echoes the sentiment.

Nicola scoffs. “Oh sure, make me be Debbie Downer.”

“Is something wrong, Nicola?” Harry asks, voice so full of concern as they both give her their full attention.

“You don’t need to feel bad about talking about the hard stuff, Nic,” Louis says, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder. “That’s what we’re here for, right? Things aren’t always going to be sunshine and rainbows, we know that. And we’re just here to talk about it and get each other through it. So, definitely don’t feel like you’re taking something away from us or ‘bringing us down’ for doing what we agreed to do.”

“Thanks, Louis,” Nicola pats his hand on her shoulder and then returns her hand to her lap where she stares at her own fingers, twisting them together anxiously. “Um, it’s my job…”

A half hour later, Nicola has unburdened herself about her private investigator boss’ last job involving a couple that thought their son was one of the returned only to find out that it was all a con man trying to swindle them out of their money. “I mean, that’s just cruel. These people thought they had their child back,” Nicola’s throat sounds tight and Louis wonders if she’s just on the edge of tears. “But, um, that’s not really the worst part,” she finally confides.

“What was the worst part, Nic?” Harry asks earnestly when it becomes evident to both him and Louis that she’s hesitant to say more.

“Um, it was the thought I had when I heard this guy was pretending to be one of us,” she answers softly. Louis sees her take a breath, swallowing hard before she opens her mouth again. “I thought…  _ who’d want  _ to be one of us?”

Suddenly, there are tears on her cheeks and a sob escaping her throat.

“Hey,” Harry says, gathering her in his arms and letting her cry on his shoulder. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. How could I think that, Harry?” She denies. “I’ve got everything. You know there are probably people who came back to find their spouses remarried, their families too afraid of them to take them back. I have everything that they don’t. I shouldn’t be thinking like that.”

“Nic, there’s nothing wrong with you,” Louis tells her, rubbing her back lightly from where she’s still buried in Harry’s embrace. “Yeah, out of the people who came back, we’re the lucky ones, because we had something to come back to, but there’s a lot wrong with being back even for us.”

“We’re treated like second-class citizens when people find out,” Harry joins in. “And people never seem to consider what it’s like for us, coming back six years after we died.”

“Having family that are strangers to you,” Louis adds, thinking about Dan, his mum’s new husband. Also, his littlest siblings. Even his sisters have grown so much, he wonders how well he still knows them. “Friends that moved on without you.”

“Yeah,” Harry agrees looking pained as he holds Nicola, resting his head on hers. It only occurs to Louis then that Harry must be thinking of the best mate that he lost when he died. Niall.

“Thanks guys,” Nicola sniffs, pulling out of Harry’s arms. “I knew you’d understand. And I really think this group is a good idea. I could never have talked to anybody at home like this.”

“Aww,” Harry coos, holding his arms open wide. “Group hug?”

Nicola laughs wetly and Louis joins her, not quite managing to dodge Harry’s arms when he pulls them both in for a slightly damp group hug.

“You’re smushing me, Curly,” Louis bemoans teasingly, doing his best to sound as squished as possible. Harry just squeezes him tighter. “Ugh,” Louis grunts but doesn’t risk further argument.

When Harry finally deems them sufficiently well-hugged, he lets them go and Louis and Nicola both take in big gulps of air. Seeing them obviously taking the piss out of his hug, Harry pouts. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Nicola asks, hand to her heart. “I couldn’t hear you over the sound of oxygen rushing into my lungs.”

Louis barks a surprised laugh, fist-bumping her.

Harry narrows his eyes. “It’s uncanny how you both manage to be the biggest arseholes I’ve ever met at the very same time.”

“Aww, Hazza,” Louis tuts at his boyfriend. “You haven’t seen my arsehole yet.”

Nicola bursts out into giggles while Harry goes an alarming shade of red, fishmouthing when he can’t quite find a response. “I’m gonna,” he clears his throat. “Gonna go outside for a bit.” Cough. “Get some air.”

Louis watches his back as he leaves, feeling utterly proud of himself. The second Harry is outside, Louis turns to Nicola, interrupting her laughter. “So, your boss,” He leans close to ask, “This private detective, he can find people, yeah?”

“That’s typically what he does,” Nic shrugs.

Louis grins wickedly. “Is it too early in our friendship to ask for a favor?”

*

Louis is surprised when Nicola texts him just a few days later with details about a meeting with her boss. He had thought finding anything out about Niall at all would take a few weeks at least, maybe even months considering no one that Harry knows has been able to find him since he came back, but it seems everyone close to Harry was simply looking in the wrong places, because he turns up in his hometown of Mullingar, Ireland.

He goes to the meeting with the detective without Harry which is a lot harder to accomplish than expected since Harry is hell bent on coming on this mysterious outing too. They go pretty much everywhere together these days so he has to lie to Harry and say that his late night appointment is work related when it’s anything but. He even has to drag his boss into it by saying it’s a private client meeting scheduled by Liam, but it’s worth it to keep Harry in the dark about this.

Louis has no idea what meeting this detective will uncover or why Niall has been so difficult for everybody to locate, but whatever the reason, Louis has a feeling it won’t be good.

Nicola meets him outside of her work building at six o’clock just as planned. She hugs him after she gets out of her car and Louis relaxes into the embrace, not having realized how nervous he is about this.

“Ready to go up?” she asks.

“I guess so. I mean, he’s already been found so I think it’s too late to go back.”

Nicola squeezes his shoulder in support before leading the way into the building and up to her boss’ office. “Everything’s going to be fine,” she assures him before knocking over the name on the door that reads  _ P.I. Murray A. Hartman. _ “He’s the absolute best at what he does.”

With how quickly he found Niall, Louis doesn’t doubt it.

The door opens from the inside to reveal a man who looks a lot younger and friendlier than Louis expected from a person who spends all of his time skulking around in the shadows and finding people who don’t necessarily want to be found.

“Hello again, Nicola. And this must be Louis Tomlinson?” he asks, though he extends an open hand without her even answering. Louis meets him halfway and nods to answer his question.

“That’s me. I’m Louis,” he says. He pauses when the man doesn’t introduce himself. “Er- Sorry, I’m not quite sure what to call you. Detective or P. I. maybe?”

“I think Murray is just fine,” he grins. “I actually prefer it.” That’s great because Louis does too.

He and Nicola follow Murray into his office and take the two seats in front of his desk.

“So, Louis,” he says once Louis is settled and no longer trying to figure out whether to rest his hands in his lap or on the arms of his chair. “You wanted to know more information about a man named Niall James Horan.”

“That’s right,” Louis nods. “Nicola says you found him. He moved back to Ireland?”

“Yes, he did,” Murray confirms. He scans over the information in his hands but pauses before continuing. “Louis, may I ask why you were so keen on finding Mr. Horan?”

When Louis heard about Murray and the fact that he can locate people, the first person he thought about was Harry and how much he misses his best friend even though he rarely says so. Louis will never be able to pay his boyfriend back for all of the wonderful things he’s done for him, but finding Niall seems like a good place to start.

“My boyfriend, Harry, died six years ago. He and Niall were best friends and when Harry came back with the rest of the returned, Niall was gone,” he answers. “Harry misses him and I want to do everything I can to help fix that.”

“That’s very admirable and kind of you. Harry’s very lucky,” Murray grins. “You said he died six years ago, and coincidentally that’s exactly when Mr. Horan left. I thought him fleeing the country at that particular point in time was quite suspicious, so I actually looked into your boyfriend’s death. The police seem to think he was murdered by someone he brought home with him from a club, but the evidence wasn’t conclusive so they had no clue who this person was.”

Louis feels bile climbing up the back of his throat.

“It- It wasn’t Niall, was it?” He really fucking hopes not. Harry wouldn’t be able to take knowing that his best friend killed him. Louis starts breathing again and his heart resumes beating when Murray shakes his head in answer.

“No, Louis, it wasn’t Niall. It was another man who had actually already killed three other people in the same way. Nobody dug into these murders deep enough to see the common link, but I did. I found him too, but unfortunately getting justice for Harry and his other victims will be difficult since he committed suicide four and a half years ago.”

Louis isn’t sure if he should feel angry after learning what this person did to Harry, but right now he just feels relieved because this person can never hurt him or anyone else ever again.

“But why did Niall leave then? If it wasn’t him? Why did he run?” Louis asks.

Murray shrugs, giving him a solemn shake of his head.

“I don’t know, Louis. I wish I could tell you, but I think that’s a question that only he can answer,” he says as he hands Louis a folder with all of Niall’s information. It contains everything he’s done in the last six years including the new phone number he requested a year ago after Harry and the rest of the returned came back. “Let me know how it goes,” Murray tells him.

*

He keeps the folder hidden under his side of the mattress now that he and Harry share the master bedroom. He only meant to keep it there for a day or two while he plucked up the courage to call the number that Murray dug up, but it’s been a whole week and Louis is still too afraid to follow through.

Harry notices something is up with him, though he isn’t quite sure what it is. He thinks it’s all work related and Louis is becoming stressed from all the responsibility that Liam has entrusted him with. It’s hard keeping something like this from Harry, but Louis doesn’t contradict him. Mostly because Louis doesn’t know how to tell him that he’s really stressed because his supposed best friend wanted to avoid being found so badly that he changed his address and phone number just to make it happen.

Louis comes home one evening a lot more on edge that usual because Nicola texted him to ask if he has tried calling Niall yet and also to remind him of their support group meeting later on.

He knows that Nicola would never say anything to Harry about what they’ve been doing and what they’ve found out, but the anxiety of it all is still getting to him. He’s not very good at hiding it either because Harry senses the fact that he’s nervous and spends the whole hour before their meeting kissing him calm until he’s lighter and smiling again instead of constantly worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

Nicola doesn’t accidentally rat them out when they meet, though it’s not like Louis really expected her to. She talks about how good things are at home with her family and Harry talks about how amazing things feel at home for him too. Louis’ weekly report echoes the same sentiment as theirs, but he makes sure to leave out anything Murray or Niall related.

When they get back to the flat Harry makes dinner even though it’s Louis’ turn to do it, and he cooks one of Louis’ favorites to make the gesture even sweeter. They curl up on the sofa afterwards and watch a movie which just so happens to be another of Louis’ favorite things before heading to bed. Harry holds him in his arms and kisses him a little slower and a bit deeper than he has in the past. Harry’s eyes are worried when he pulls back to trace his lips with his thumb.

“What’s got you so nervous lately?” he whispers. “Is it me? Us?”

Louis grins and shakes his head because it’s neither one of those things. It’s mostly just the giant folder currently stuffed under the mattress beneath them, but that folder isn’t taking up much space in his mind anymore. Not since Harry has been holding him.

He and Harry haven’t had sex yet. It has been over six years for both them and maybe that’s what Harry thinks is worrying him, which would make a lot of sense, except it’s not true. Louis kisses him, erasing every one of those fears and making Harry smile when Louis starts undressing them.

“I could never be nervous around you,” he whispers back. “I love you.”

It’s the fact that Louis loves him so much and wants the absolute best for him that he makes the decision right then and there to call Niall; first thing in the morning though since tonight just became all about them.

*

Louis asks for his lunch break a little earlier than usual the next day at work. He goes to the coffee shop a block away but sits down on the kerb instead of going inside like he normally would have.

Niall’s number has been in his contacts since this morning when Harry was busy in the shower and didn’t notice Louis programming it in. He’s had it for hours, but it’s taken him until right now to get up the nerve to hit call.

It rings twice and immediately Louis is convinced that he’s not going to answer. He thinks maybe Niall’s at work and can’t take calls at the moment or maybe this isn’t even his number at all because he changed it again and Murray just realized it, but on the third ring, somebody finally picks up. It’s only then that Louis realizes he never planned what the fuck to say.

“Hello?” comes a curious voice that sounds very Irish. However, that’s probably to be expected since Louis is calling a number that is also Irish.

“Hey,” Louis says back. “Is this Niall?”

“It is,” the person answers easily. “Who’s this?”

_ Somebody you don’t know and will probably hang up on the second you do,  _ Louis thinks.

“So, Niall. This is kind of an awkward phone call for me and it’s probably going to be just as weird and awkward for you too, but could you just try to listen to me before you say anything or like, hang up?”

There’s an excruciating silence that hangs between them. Niall doesn’t say yes or no to Louis’ question so he just starts talking.

“My name is Louis. We’ve never met, but I know somebody that you used to be really close with. He’s actually my boyfriend and I love him so much and…and his name is Harry.”

There’s still nothing but silence. He assumes Niall is doing what he asked and is listening so Louis presses on.

“Um, I’m sure it comes as no surprise to you that he died a few years ago. You sort of moved away right after he did, but I was just thinking that maybe you haven’t tried contacting him again or staying in touch because maybe you didn’t know that he came back?”

More silence. It’s so quiet on the line that Louis has to check to make sure there’s still somebody on the other end of it. “Niall? You there?”

“Yeah,” he breathes. “I- I’m here.”

“Good. That’s great. And…did you know that Harry came back. Did you know he’s alive?”

He wants Niall to say no, but Louis knows that isn’t the case. There’s no way he couldn’t have known with everybody trying to contact him.

“Um, yeah, I-I figured,” he admits after a while. “Look, Louis, I don’t know how you got this number or what you know about the night that he died, but I’m pretty sure Harry doesn’t want to see me. Not after what I did.”

Louis can feel his blood rushing, wondering what the hell that’s supposed to mean. “What do you mean?” he asks. “W-What did you do?” According to Murray, Niall had nothing to do with Harry’s murder, but maybe he was wrong.

“I let him get killed,” Niall says like it should be obvious when that wasn’t at all obvious to Louis. “We went out that night. _ I _ wanted to go out that night and this man was so interested in Harry and going home with him. The whole situation was strange and I should’ve known. I- I should’ve noticed, but I didn’t. I didn’t say anything and I let this idiot get close to my best friend and he fucking  _ killed  _ him,” Niall chokes out. “I couldn’t stay there after he was gone. They never caught his killer and his family was so heartbroken and I just- I couldn’t be there anymore and so I left.”

Murray had thought Niall disappeared due to a guilty conscience, but not because he blamed himself for what happened. Suddenly, Niall moving away makes a lot more sense.

“After a while I stopped feeling so empty and fucking guilty for being a terrible friend, but then one day my phone rang and when I looked down, it was him and I just couldn’t do it. I had heard there were some people who returned, but I never thought in a million years that Harry would be one of them.”

“So, you changed your number to block him and everybody else who knew him out,” Louis concludes through Niall’s sobs.

“I didn’t know what to say to him or his family. Even at his funeral I couldn’t understand how they could stomach looking at me. Everything that happened could’ve been prevented if I’d have just opened my mouth and said something.”

Louis’ throat is tight as he listens to Niall cry. He knew this was probably going to be hard. He knew this was going to be painful, but he didn’t mean to make Niall feel all of this again. He just wanted to let him know that he still has someone who cares about him here in London.

“Niall, I know you blame yourself, but believe me when I say that nobody else does. Especially not Harry. He loves you even today. Even though he hasn’t spoken to you in over six years, he loves you,” Louis tells him first thing because he needs to know that. “And you’re not responsible for his death at all; someone else is.”

Louis still doesn’t know how he feels about having that knowledge. Some nights he gets so angry thinking about someone hurting Harry that he can barely see straight, but it’s not like he can do anything about it now.

“The bastard that killed Harry did the same thing to other people, but it doesn’t even matter because he’s gone now too. That night is in the past, Niall, and nobody can change it, but you don’t have to hide yourself away anymore thinking your best friend hates you when you now know for a fact that he doesn’t.”

Louis has been expecting the line to disconnect ever since they first said hello. He still thinks Niall may hang up on him when all he hears are quiet sobs.  _ Thank you _ is the last thing Louis expects to hear, but Niall says it almost so softly that Louis misses it altogether over the bustle of the streets around him.

He hears Niall take a few deep breaths to calm himself, his voice much steadier when speaks up again.

“Hey, Louis. You never said how you got this number.”

Louis winces. He had kind of hoped he wouldn’t have to disclose that information and Niall would just go with it.

“Er- Don’t be too freaked out, but I may have had a private investigator track you down because no one else knew where to find you so I knew _ I  _ didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell.” There’s more silence followed by a breathy sound into the receiver that Louis recognizes as laughter. At least he’s not angry. “…Are you freaked out?”

“ _ Yes _ . Of course, I am. What the fuck?” he chuckles. “But, it’s okay, because I know you must love Harry a lot to go through so much trouble.”

Louis really, really does.

*

Louis stares down at Harry later that night while they watch a movie on Netflix.  He plays with Harry’s hair while his head rests on Louis’ lap, running his fingers slowly over his scalp. He’s not actually watching the film at all really, only having eyes for the amazing man he gets the privilege to love.

“Mmmm,” Harry hums, turning to look up at him. “Feels good.”

“Good,” Louis says quietly. “Always want you to feel good.”

“I always do,” Harry smiles, eyelids drooping in lazy contentment. “I have you.”

Louis’ heart feels so full in this moment and he bites his lip to keep from saying something stupid like  _ marry me _ . It’s probably a bit too soon for a marriage proposal. Isn’t it? “I love you,” he says instead. It’s not the first time, but Harry always smiles like it is.

“I love you, too,” Harry says back, dimpling up at him before leaning up and reaching behind Louis to cradle his neck and pull him into a kiss, a sweet press of lips that opens up into something more, deeper and more emotional.

It isn’t long before they’re both sprawled on the sofa, Louis on top of Harry as they share lingering kisses.

“How did I get so lucky?” Louis wonders breathlessly between kisses.

Harry gazes up at him adoringly, “I’m the lucky one.”

Louis whimpers and dives back into Harry’s kiss. It’s nice that Harry thinks that, makes Louis’ heart feel all warm and full. But it doesn’t matter what Harry says, Louis knows he is absolutely the lucky one.

*

“Are you okay?” Harry asks with a bemused grin as he watches Louis fail to sit still on Thursday.

“Yeah, just hurry up, okay?” Louis urges, heaving himself up from the sofa to push Harry back towards the bedroom. “Finish getting dressed so that we can go.”

“I’ve never seen you so excited for support group, babe,” Harry laughs, peering at him over his shoulder and obviously enjoying torturing Louis by  _ not getting ready _ . 

“Nicola is bringing a couple of new recruits and I just want to make a good impression,” Louis tells him. That’s his story and he’s sticking to it. “This is  _ our _ support group, Harry. We’re the  _ hosts _ . We shouldn’t be late.”

“Okay, okay!” Harry laughs, throwing his hands up in surrender and walking towards the bedroom of his own volition. “I’m going.”

“Thank you!” Louis huffs in faux impatience. Okay, it’s a little real, but only because he’s so very excited to get Harry there. He’s been making sneaky phone calls at work all week to plan tonight. “And dress nice!”

Harry sticks his head back out the door, a pout on his lips. “I always dress nice.”

Louis considers this for a second. “Fair point,” he concedes because his boyfriend does have a tendency to look spectacular in everything he wears.

Harry smiles, lingering with his head in the doorway.

“Why aren’t you putting on new clothes?” Louis asks after staring at him pointedly for a few seconds.

“It’s nice to see you excited for support group,” Harry says, happiness coloring his words, eyes crinkled with mirth.

Louis smiles back at Harry’s sweet words. It’s hard to be impatient with him when he’s being like this, which is pretty much always. “I  _ am _ excited,” he says, moving toward Harry, kissing his lips when he reaches him. “Not just because of the new people that are going to be there,” he says, unbuttoning Harry’s work shirt himself since Harry  _ obviously _ isn’t going to. “I’m excited because this is us,” he slides his hands under the fabric, fingers trailing over Harry’s shoulders as he pushes the shirt down his arms. “It’s  _ our _ thing, something we started together and now we get to share it with other people that it might help.”

“You keep touching me like this and  _ I’m _ the only one you’ll be helping,” Harry jokes, letting his shirt drift to the floor before he’s putting his hands on Louis’ waist and pulling him closer.

Louis leans in, teasing his breath over Harry’s lips. “Get dressed and I’ll help you all you want when we get home.”

“Don’t tease me,” Harry murmurs, ducking his head to get another taste of Louis’ lips.

Louis pulls away, keeping just out of Harry’s reach, very  _ definitely _ teasing, so Harry pulls him back in by his hips.

“I said  _ don’t _ ,” Harry complains, finally claiming Louis’ lips again.

“You’re…” Louis tries to say but Harry’s to busy kissing him to let him speak. “…making us…”

“Shut up,” Harry laughs, nipping his lip.

“Late,” Louis finishes just to spite him.

“I’ll  _ show you late _ ,” Harry warns, slipping his hands under Louis’ shirt.

“No!” Louis scolds trying to pull out of his hold, laughter making it not nearly as stern as he wants it to be. “Harry! You’re supposed to be getting dressed, not getting me  _ un _ dressed.”

Harry lowers his head, nosing at Louis’ neck since he can’t get to his lips anymore. “You started it.”

“I was trying to help!” Louis shrieks when Harry’s fingers dig into his sides, tickling him. He swats at Harry while he laughs.

“Okay!” Harry finally says, stopping his assault and holding Louis steady. “I’m stopping, I promise.”

Louis breathes heavily as he looks at Harry with a narrowed gaze, unsure If he can trust that innocent expression on his face. “Okay,” he finally agrees, hands holding Harry’s wrists as he lets go of Louis’ waist. When he can step back a little, he drops Harry’s wrists slowly.

“I’m not gonna tickle you anymore,” Harry says again, a breathy laugh brushing over his words.

“I believe you,” Louis says, taking another step back. And then another until he’s in the doorway, and then he turns and runs. Just in case. “Now get dressed!” He yells from the safety of the living room.

Harry’s laughter echoes down the hallway as he finally does what he’s told.

*

Louis’ leg is bouncing about a million times per minute and only bounces faster each time he checks his phone. It’s almost seven, and so far, the only people at their support group are the same three that are always there plus one extra woman whom Nicola recruited to join them over a cup of tea earlier today. Louis had made that up when he told Harry there would be new people here tonight. It was mostly just a ploy to get his arse here in a pair of jeans without holes in them, but Nic actually pulled through.

“You’re fidgeting,” she whispers at his side. “Stay still.”

“I can’t. He should be here by now.” Louis checks his phone again. It’s two minutes past seven and there is still no sign of the special guest that Louis made them leave the flat early for and get so dressed up to see. He just spoke to Niall again this afternoon and yes, he still seemed a bit nervous about tonight but he never gave any indication that he wouldn’t show.

“Shouldn’t we start?” Harry asks when he too notices the time. Louis exchanges an anxious look with Nicola before turning back to his boyfriend, offering him a warm grin.

“Yeah, babe. We should begin. I’ll start,” Louis volunteers, hoping to buy Niall some more time on the off chance that he’s stuck in traffic or busy having a panic attack somewhere outside.

Louis drags out his share for as long as he can, but there are only so many times he can say how happy he is and how great things are going in his life right now before it gets annoying. The new girl, Addy, goes next when the floor is open again. She explains how Nicola found her on her way home from work, standing outside the flat she used to share with her younger sister who died three years after her and unfortunately never earned the privilege of coming back.

It makes Louis’ heart hurt to think about. To imagine one of his own sisters gone before he could see them again. He was so fortunate that everyone in his family was still here when he returned. He was even more fortunate because they all chose to love him instead of turning him away like so many others were.

“I try not to dwell on the fact that she’s gone,” Addy tells the small room. “But it’s hard, especially when I know she should’ve been the one to come back. I had a pretty good life before, but she deserves a thousand second chances. I feel like mine is wasted on me being stuck in the past and missing her so much. She wouldn’t waste it. It should’ve been her.”

Harry places a comforting hand on her shoulder as she talks and she wipes at the tears gathering in her eyes. Louis wishes he knew what to say to take away the sting of losing her sister but he knows nothing will dull that ache except time and perhaps coming to terms with being the one who came back, even if she doesn’t think she deserved it.

The door of the room opens just as she finishes speaking and jokingly turns the floor over to someone else who needs to cry a bit. Everyone looks up at the sound and grins kindly at the new person who just walked in chewing on his bottom lip and staring anywhere except Harry’s direction.

He hovers at the door like he regrets walking through it, but thankfully, something convinces him not to go. Louis is just thankful he didn’t change his mind.

“Niall, there’s a seat for you if you’d like to join us,” Louis says when several seconds have ticked by without anybody so much as breathing. Harry tears his eyes away from his old friend he’s been gawking at when he hears Louis say his name with such familiarity. “Surprise,” Louis mouths at his boyfriend, praying to God that Harry finds it to be a pleasant one.

He turns his attention back to Niall who eventually comes to join them in the circle after he’s gotten up the courage. The only empty seat is the one right across from Harry, so he’s forced to take it, still avoiding his eyes after he sits down.

“Niall? We were all just listening to each other’s stories,” Nicola tells him. “You’re welcome to do the same if you want. We’re just here to listen.”

Niall nods after a beat, but doesn’t immediately start talking. He’s still chewing at his lip, stealing quick glances at Harry who hasn’t said anything either. Louis quietly slides his hand into his and gently rubs his thumb over the backs of Harry’s knuckles as Niall finally takes a deep breath.

“Hi, I’m Niall. I’ve, um…I’ve never been to one of these before.” Harry’s grip tightens around Louis’ hand as Niall’s soft voice breaks the silence. “I don’t really feel like I belong here because I’ve never died or come back, but my best mate did, so maybe what I have to say isn’t all that different?”

Louis would venture to say that it’s not.

“So, I did a really stupid thing,” he grins to himself, but there’s not a trace of humor in it. “I let my best friend get killed. I was there when this sick bastard got too close to him and I let him go off with the guy without saying a word. I let him get hurt in the worst possible way and I take the blame for that. I claim that incredibly stupid choice I made because it was my fault,” he says. “But, all that’s not as awful as how badly I treated him when my best friend in the whole world came back.”

Niall scrubs at his eyes, finally meeting Harry’s when he looks across the circle. He hasn’t looked at Harry like that in over six years and Louis can see how much it pains him to have Harry’s support instead of his judgment.

“I didn’t pick up the phone,” he sniffs into the back of his hand. “You called me. You  _ kept _ calling me and I just- I couldn’t do it. I don’t even remember why, but at the time, the thought of hearing your voice again seemed like it would hurt worse than finding out you were gone. And that’s so stupid because there are people who wish for their loved ones to come back every single day and when I got that chance, I blew it. I thought you hated me.  _ I _ hated me; for letting you get hurt and then for wasting all this time I could’ve been here for you. But then I got another call. I got a call from some person I didn’t even know who told me it wasn’t too late. He said I still had a place in your heart even after the way I treated you and I don’t know if he’s right, but I really hope so because I love you, Haz, and I missed you every day. I was just too afraid to tell you that.”

Harry’s cheeks are wet with hot tears that he doesn’t even wipe away when he stands up and crosses the room to hug his friend. “It’s not too late. Never,” Harry whispers. It’s slightly muffled where his face is buried in the crook of Niall’s neck but it’s only meant for him anyway.  

They hold each other for longer than Louis can keep track of; both of them squeezing tight like the last six years can be forgotten if only they stay connected. He hears Niall’s choked up apology as he tries to make amends for everything he feels responsible for as well as Harry’s stubborn instance that he’s done nothing wrong. Their tearful reunion makes Louis’ whole heart feel warm. He wanted this for Harry so badly. He’s glad that out of all the things Harry has given him that he could do this one thing for him.

“I’m so glad you’re here. I can’t believe it,” Harry tells his best friend once they finally let go of each other. Harry wipes at his eyes finding his face sopping wet. He laughs when he notices Niall’s face just as disgusting as his own.

“I know. I almost backed out at the last moment, but then I thought about Louis over there and how he’d probably send bloodhounds after me if I did so I decided against it,” Niall jokes. “That’s some boyfriend you’ve got, Haz. I’m happy for you. He loves you so much.”

Harry’s proud smile sends a bolt of lightning straight to Louis’ heart, warming it all over again when he glances over his shoulder at him.

“I know,” he says looking right at Louis. “I’m so lucky.”

*

“Lou,” Harry says lightly against Louis’ skin as they lay in bed that night. He presses a soft kiss to Louis’ pectoral under his mouth.

“Yeah, baby?” Louis whispers, his fingers lazily moving through Harry’s hair.

“Thank you,” Harry tells him, the arm wrapped around Louis’ torso squeezing him tighter for a moment. “For Niall. For living here. For everything, really.”

“Hey, you were the one who  _ let  _ me live here,” Louis argues gently, kissing the top of Harry’s head, “even after I was awful to you. I should be thanking  _ you _ for that.”

Harry leans up on his elbow to look Louis in the eyes. “Do you think maybe it’s fate? Two people who never got to meet during their short lives, getting a second chance together? Maybe that’s why we’re back, to find someone we were meant to find the first time around but never got the chance to.”

Louis hums, thinking over Harry’s words as he pulls him back into his arms. “I don’t know. What about people like Nicola who were already in love?”

Harry shrugs against him. “It doesn’t have to be about that kind of love. Maybe Addy is the person Nicola was meant to find. To help her through the loss of her sister, or maybe be another kind of sister to her.”

“Well, I don’t know about everyone else,” Louis says, looking down at the man whose soul is definitely a match for his own, “but you and me? Yeah. We were meant to be, Curly.”

 

**Six Months Later**

 

“Harry, that’s the sixth shirt you’ve tried on,” Louis sighs fondly, tugging his boyfriend away from the closet and depositing him on the bed. He bounces in place, cheeks flushed from frustration and Louis just wants to bury him in his arms and press kisses all over his face until he’s giggling and happy again. He settles for sitting next to him, their thighs touching as Louis runs a hand up and down Harry’s back. “You look wonderful in anything, babe, but why are you so anxious? It’s just group therapy.”

Group has actually been going really well lately. Ever since Addy joined, the group’s popularity has gone through the roof. She’s funny, charming and absolutely shameless about promoting their little support group, reaching out to people she finds online and even on the street. In her second week there she’d helped them come up with a name “Life Zupport” – tagline: Because Zombies need love too! – and she’d made up fliers and everything. She’s very big on PR for the group. Louis absolutely loves her.  

Harry sighs, running a hand through his hair before Louis captures it in his own hands and holds tight to it. “It’s just,” he starts, taking another deep breath before he can continue. “Niall will be back tonight.”

Louis lifts a playful eyebrow. “Is there something going on between you and Niall that you need to tell me about?” He asks, smiling when Harry rolls his eyes at him and drops his head to Louis’ shoulder, forehead pressing into Louis’ shirt.

“I know I talk to him on the phone and Skype all the time,” Harry says, murmuring into Louis’ armpit so that he has to listen extra carefully to make everything out.  “But I haven’t actually seen him in person in six months. I’m a bit nervous, Lou.”

“Oh, babe,” Louis coos, moving his free hand to grasp the nape of Harry’s neck, massaging it lightly with his thumb. “It’s Niall. There’s nothing to be nervous about. He loves you no matter how you’re dressed, or not dressed, but let’s not go there because I like the guy and I’d hate to have to kill him for ogling my boyfriend.”

Harry laughs. They can laugh about this now. They’ve both always shared a rather morbid sense of humor but six months ago, when Niall had first come back to visit, he’d spent a week on Harry and Louis’ sofa and it had been wonderful but there had also been some tough conversations that had put a strain on them. Like the one where Niall and Louis told Harry what they knew about his killer. There had been a lot of tears and hugs but Harry had come out of it ultimately feeling better about things. Talking about his killer hadn’t been his favorite conversation, but he’d come away from it knowing that the man couldn’t hurt anyone else, and Louis knew that Harry was grateful for that. Talking about death had been hard for a while but now, after a little time to put things in perspective, their lives seem a little brighter. One of the clouds that had been hanging over them has since dissipated and it isn’t so scary to imagine that they can let their guard down and accept this, the second chance they’ve been given.

“Niall’s seen me naked plenty,” Harry informs Louis, lifting his head to meet his eyes with a smirk on his lips. “He’s not interested. I promise.”

“Better not be,” Louis grumbles with false irritation. “Has he seen you naked more than I have?”

“Oh, yeah. Loads,” Harry laughs, lightly squeezing the hand that's still holding his and leaning forward to whisper, “But he’ll never touch me like you have.”

Louis practically purrs at just the idea of touching Harry intimately, unclasping their hands to pull him in for a quick kiss. But as it always happens, one ‘quick’ kiss turns into a second lingering one, and then a third, and then Harry’s sixth shirt is on the floor.

“What… happened…,” Harry gasps out between mewls as Louis moves to suck on his neck, and then his collarbones. “… to getting ready, nngh, for support group?”

“We’re not going,” Louis decides, licking out at Harry’s right nipple.

Harry laughs breathlessly. “We can’t skip,” he says even as he pulls Louis’ jumper over his head and attaches his mouth to Louis’ chest tattoo, hands burning against Louis’ back. It feels so fucking good.

“Fine, we’ll be late,” Louis amends against Harry’s skin, reaching his hand into Harry’s trousers and palming his swiftly hardening dick.

When they finally show up to group, Harry in his seventh shirt and both of them looking well-fucked, Nicola and Addy just smirk knowingly and don’t say a word as Nicola leads the group.

Harry falls into the empty seat that’s been saved for him next to Niall and reaches out to hug his friend for the first time in six months. Louis watches them, a look of tender affection on his face, so glad that he could bring the two friends together again.

There are so many people in the group now and it’s not just sad people sitting around in a circle sharing tales of their pain anymore. It’s become an open discussion about their fears and triumphs and Louis thinks they’re all a bit better off for it. Nicola practically glows with an inner peace these days and Addy smiles more often than she cries. Things aren’t perfect, but they’re all working toward making this chance they’ve been given worth it. Addy and Louis are even working together in their free time to organize a zombie rights march, to protest against the people who deem the returned as second-class citizens. Of course, they aren’t  _ calling _ it that. They need to be taken seriously.

It helps that Liam decided to sponsor them when Louis told him about it, running off at the mouth in his excitement. Louis remembers all too well how horrible interviewing had felt until Liam had given him a chance and he wants to stop other people from ever feeling like that. Louis lucked out, finding a great job and managing to make an even better friend from the situation. More people need that chance, and he’s determined to get it for them.

After group, Louis and Harry go out for drinks with Niall and then cart him back to their place to crash on their sofa. Niall smiles up at the photo Harry has of the two of them on his wall, no doubt getting lost in the memories.

“That was a great night,” Niall slurs, pointing to it as Harry tries to cover his sprawled body with a blanket.

Harry glances at it, smile on his face already. “It was,” he agrees. “One of the best I’ve ever had.”

“Awww!” Niall coos drunkenly, pulling an already slightly unstable Harry down into his arms. “Love you, H.”

“Love you too, Ni,” Harry answers into the pillow his face is being pressed into behind Niall’s shoulder. It’s muffled but Niall can obviously hear it.

Louis clears his throat to get their attention, crossing his arms over his chest as he looks at them with mock disapproval. They look rather comical with Harry’s legs spread out behind him on the floor while Niall cuddles his upper half on the sofa and Louis is having a difficult time keeping a straight face. “Having fun without me, fellas?”

“I mean, I was just gonna make sweet, sweet love to H right here on the sofa,” Niall grins, his face open and carefree, voice full of laughter. “But if you want to have a threesome, someone’s gonna have to carry me to the bedroom.”

“Ewww!” Harry laughs, pulling a disgusted face and yanking himself from Niall’s embrace. “I love you, Niall, but not that much. And I’m not sharing my boyfriend,” he says, moving to take Louis’ hand and lead him to their bedroom. Just the two of them. “Not even with you.”

“Selfish!” Niall cries from his makeshift bed.

“Always!” Harry calls back, tossing off his clothes and crawling into bed. Louis watches, utterly charmed as he slowly undresses himself and climbs in next to Harry, cuddling close when Harry wraps an arm around his waist. “Want you all to myself,” he mumbles sleepily into Louis’ hair.

“Same, Hazza,” Louis sighs happily, closing his eyes. “Same.”

When Louis wakes in the morning, there’s already a current of excitement thrumming under his skin. He hums to himself as he brushes his teeth, full on breaking out into song when he’s in the shower.

“One way, or another. I’m gonna find ya…”

“Found you.”

Harry giggles as Louis jumps about a mile high, joining him in the shower and wrapping his arms around Louis from behind in a silent apology but it might mean more if he wasn’t still laughing.

“Scared me,” Louis mutters, hand to his chest as Harry’s chest presses into his back.

“Sorry, babe,” Harry smiles into Louis’ shoulder. “What’s got you in such a good mood today anyway? You’re hardly ever this happy first thing in the morning.”

“Oh, uh,” Louis scrambles for an acceptable answer. “Just excited for dinner with the family tonight.”

It’s kind of true. Things have been amazing with Louis’ family. They’d slowly started getting better when he’d moved in with Harry, Louis could really see how much they actually missed him. But now, it’s pretty much perfect, they have dinner once a week and Louis gets to bask in the love he’d thought he lost. He’s so thankful for Harry every single day because he knows without a doubt that Harry is the reason he has this back.

“Okay,” Harry doesn’t look like he entirely believes Louis but he lets him have this one, always very wise about picking his battles. “Are we taking Niall with us?”

“Sure,” Louis says easily lathering up Harry’s hair with shampoo before even bothering with his own. He loves getting his hands in Harry’s hair. “And then maybe we can all go out for a drink after.”

“That sounds amazing,” Harry hums, eyes closed as he relishes the feel of Louis massaging his scalp.

“It’s going to be a good day,” Louis decides.

It is a good day. Time doesn’t crawl by like it usually would when Louis is looking forward to something. Before he knows it, he’s sitting down to dinner with his family. Laughter and smiles surround the dinner table and it feels like something he’s been missing has finally slid into place in his life. Everything is just as it should be. It’s a wonderful feeling.

When they go to leave, he hugs all of his siblings goodbye and Ernest doesn’t want to let him go. His eyes nearly water with the pride he feels at finally getting his little brother’s approval, the last holdout of the bunch. His mum pries the toddler away and Louis promises he’ll be back next week, kissing his mum on the cheek and ruffling Ernest’s hair one last time.

*

“Remember this place?” Niall asks with a laugh as they walk into a pub that’s all too familiar. It’s full of people, their friends and other members of the support group, all smiling at them like they’re in on a secret. They are, but so is Louis. He’s already smiling as he leads Harry in with a hand to the small of his back.

“Oh my God!” Harry says, jaw falling open as he looks around the room he’s just entered. Because there are dicks everywhere. They hang from streamers taped to the ceiling, they’re draped over the rafters and along the walls. There are dick hats and dick cups. And right in the center of the bar, there sits a fat, frosty dick cake. Harry covers his mouth, tears springing to his eyes. “Niall.”

“So, I have some good news,” Niall says, hugging his emotional best friend. “Thought we could use a party to celebrate.”

Louis watches on, heart fluttering with happiness.

“What’s the news?” Harry asks, sniffing as he pulls out of Niall’s arms.

“I’m here to stay, H. I’m moving back,” Niall answers, laughing when he’s immediately engulfed in Harry’s arms again.

“Oh my God!” Harry exclaims again, laughing even as tears stream down his cheeks. “That’s amazing!”

“Welcome home, Niall,” Louis adds, patting the Irish lad on the back.

“Thanks, man,” Niall returns, sending Louis a wink over Harry’s shoulder.

Harry turns to him once he’s nearly squeezed the life out of Niall. “Did you know about this?”

Louis smirks. “Who do you think ordered the cake?”

And then he’s got an armful of Harry and there are kisses being planted on his cheeks. He laughs, eyes going all squinty like he knows they do when he’s truly happy because he is. He’s so very happy right now.

“Should we cut into that cake?” Niall asks, eyeing the confection like he just wants to dig out a piece with his bare hands. Louis would be disturbed if he didn’t know that Niall isn’t paying the slightest attention to the shape of the cake as he stares it down.

“We will,” Louis promises. “But first, how about we recreate the picture hanging on the wall at home,” he suggests.

“Definitely,” Niall agrees, nodding to Harry with a wide grin.

“On one condition,” Harry adds.

Louis raises a brow in question.

“I want you in it with us,” Harry tell him, so much love shining from his eyes.

“Yeah,” Niall agrees. “You definitely should be. We wouldn’t be back here without you.”

Someone puts candles on the cake and lights them all and Louis’ not sure if they’ve mistaken this for a birthday party but he holds tight to it as Niall and Harry crowd on either side of him when Nicola pulls out a camera. “Smile!” She orders as she prepares to snap the picture. Louis doesn't think he could stop if he tried.

They may not know how long they have or why they came back, but for reasons they don’t understand, they all somehow found each other.

And that alone was worth the trip.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! We hope you loved it as much as we did. If you liked it, [here](http://becomeawendybird.tumblr.com/post/161834707976/for-reasons-unknown-by-fallinglikethis) is the rebloggable fic post.❤️


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